So. Where are we at?
Well of course I did nothing about it for a week, except moan about how bad things were. Standard lazy practice.
And then, well one night, we just decided that that was the last time that Harper was coming into our bed. Ever. The weather was warmer so we made a bed for her on the floor next to the bed. Just like a cute pet or something. Nice hey? It was really uncomfortable, made out of lounge cushions that kept pulling apart so her bottom would fall right through. I did give her a warm doona though. And a pillow. See? GENEROUS. In she trotted at 11.00pm, ready to hop in, and let’s just say if she could have said “What the FUCK do you mean I can’t come into bed with you guys?” she would have. Instead she just lost her shit in a spectacular 2.5 yro fashion. After 3 hours of talking her through it, reassurance, hand holding and talking her off the ledge, she slept a little next to our bed, and then a little in her bed.
A chart (another fucking sticker chart) was made. Promises of one sticker for not coming into our bed and TWO if she stayed in her own bed all night. If she gets 7 stickers, she gets a weekly prize. I’m yet to work out the details of that prize.
The next few nights were mostly spent on the floor to my bed, sleeping soundly all night. The change in my own sleep was extraordinary. Sleeping! In my own bed! With space! AND MY HUSBAND! I was able to wake up and move about! I wasn’t a cranky, resentful mother towards her first thing in the morning. BONUS.
Then she got sick. Really sick. With a cold that turned into bad asthma. That meant she could barely breathe all night and so I ended up sleeping with her so I could watch her, give ventolin when required and just keep an eye on her. WE BROKE THE RULES. Because I am a sucker for the sick babies. Who isn’t?
But the next night? Well we started all over again. And this time, when she trotted in at 11.00pm to hop back into bed if she could have said “Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Last night we were cool. Weren’t we? What’s GOING ON? This is bullshit!”. She would have. But instead she completely and entirely lost her cool. A tantrum SO big, and so loud, that everyone was awake. It took 45 minutes to talk her off the ledge and another few hours before she would sleep on her bed on the floor.
The night after that, the trotting into our room became later. 2.30am I think. Same again last night – closer to 3.00am and after 5 minutes on that shitty bed, she asked to GET BACK INTO HER OWN BED. Where she slept. ALL NIGHT.
Two stickers Harper! TWO STICKERS.
Slowly, but surely, we will get there. I know we will. One night, somewhere in the future, she won’t come in at all and we will ALL SLEEP IN OUR OWN BEDS ALL NIGHT. It hasn’t been fun, it’s taken patience and effort, consistency and non laziness but it’s been worth it. That sound sleep in my own bed has been worth every tantrum along the way. Times a thousand.