Am I a co-sleeper? Or just lazy?

I’m calling it. I reckon it has been a year since our youngest has been sleeping badly. Actually, since we have all been sleeping badly. It’s funny how a year just comes up on you doesn’t it?

You see the thing was, she started sleeping badly which over the space of a few months became really badly with her sleep apnoea creeping in which woke her every few hours and stopped her from breathing. Then it was on the downhill slope to Christmas which we knew would be a disruption with a few weeks of holidays so we just rode it out. Then we saw her ENT and had the surgery planned for her tonsils and adenoids and things were disrupted until she got better. And then she got better and just started coming and sleeping in bed with us every night and because we were so exhausted, we just went with the flow to catch up on some quality sleep.

And now here we are.

Each and every night Harper pops off to sleep in the bottom bunk of her sister’s room. There is no fuss, no problems, and within 5 or 10 mins they are both sleeping soundly. LIKE IT SHOULD BE. It’s the 3-4 hours later that the little possum jumps out of bed, runs down to our room and wedges herself between the warmth of her Mum and Dad. And then proceeds to kick the shit out of us and sleep sideways until the morning when she wakes up, bright as a button, ready to start the day! While Rob and I utter profanities under our breath while we stretch and shuffle our way down to the coffee machine.

Some nights Rob just gives up, and sleeps in the spare room so everyone can get some sleep. And that’s great, except that it’s so NOT, because last time I checked married people slept in the same bed together. I remember fondly, those years, where Rob and I would snuggle up in bed together, perhaps even have sex, and then sleep until the morning woke us. THE MORNING. Remember them? No, me either.

I know what needs to happen. It’s time to pull out the tough cop routine. Again. For the 38, 567th time. I need to put her back into bed when she comes in. And then put her back again. And then again. But I want to sleep (badly) instead.

I know she will cry, and wake her sister, and then EVERYONE will be up and cranky and AWAKE in the middle of the night, so I choose (bad) sleep instead.

I know I could make a bed on the floor for her, telling her to sleep there if she wants to come into our room. But it’s cold, really cold, and I feel guilty, so I choose (bad) sleep again.

But I know that she won’t do this forever. That her sister, the worst sleeper on the planet now sleeps soundly in her own bed for 12 hours a night so it may just happen again with Harper right?

Or not.

Have you ever been too lazy to change bad habits?

  • carohutchison

    I sent our 2 year old back to bed at 130 this morning. I’d say hang on until it’s not to freezing overnight and play tough cop in the springtime.

  • http://www.creative-current.com/ Nicky

    This is so me! My 2.5 yr old has always been a shocker and travelling OS made things worse with him and low and behold his older brother, 4.5 decided to get in on the action. So now EVERY night we have a similar scenario but with 2 kicking beasts. I wake up stiff because there is no room to even roll over. We have actually contemplated a bigger bed rather than the drama of trying to get them into their own beds.
    I just try to remind myself “This too shall pass!”

  • http://semanticallydriven.com/ Jen

    Go the tough love I reckon. I like my sleep, and I like my sleep without a little creature snorting and kicking me so a few nights of awful sleep is totally worth it. Maybe pick a time to do it when it’s not too busy incase you’re all a bit tired and cranky. Good luck.

  • Anonymous

    Sounds like us here at our house! I have the belief that they are only little once and it won’t last forever. AND I am happy I get in a bit of adult time between the sheets and a few hours of snuggle time with the husband before one or the other (of my two children) jump into bed. I admit there are some nights that it is all just too much and I will either jump in the spare bed or I will make it so uncomfortable for the child to sleep in our bed (by over cuddling them) that they want to go back to their own bed ;-) If you don’t want to be a hard arse don’t, if it’s not too concerning leave it… But if you really need to change it, try annoying them out of the bed IT WORKS :-)

    Sarah jean

  • http://www.thisbloominglife.com/ alison@thisbloominglife

    Stop giving yourself a hard time – it’s not laziness, just sheer exhaustion. Our kids (both 11) have only started sleeping through on their own in the last couple of years. Ironically, now we are the ones who wake (the joys of age). For us, a mattress on the floor with a hot water bottle already in it worked, and our old house is truly freezing!

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05422169384250471413 Libby

      I agree you should not beat yourself up about it but call a spade a spade – it is laziness…everyone is tired but sheer exhaustion is a bit of a stretch (no offence Alison I know it’s just a turn of phrase).

      I’ll be the lone voice and say you’re not doing them any favours by acting as a sleep crutch. They will eventually learn but they’ll also learnt a bit more of the art of manipulation that all kids are ‘A’ plus in:)

      She’s the smiling assassin though isn’t she!!

      Three kids here, 3rd child the worst sleeper but all have learnt the art of going to bed awake, and that waking in the middle of the night is not a free pass to the big bed (I know sleep nazis that’s us!!!)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06564936409553722298 Laura

    Oh I have been there. My son is just over two and we only just got him sleeping through the night consistently a few months ago. I slept on his floor for a good three months I think. It sucked but I was too exhausted to change anything. Then he stayed at his grandmas for two nights and I SLEPT and finally had the energy to get tough. It took about 5 days but we are all so much happier.

    It’s amazing the difference it makes to my patience and energy and just everything. Before kids I never really thought about sleep, it was just a granted.

    Hope you find a solution soon and all get some more quality sleep. xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17317677066408030053 Faux Fuchsia

    Gee I’m looking forward to reading the comments on this one.

    x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08897679570420771439 Amber Jane

    I sleep with my 4 year old – hubby usually sleeps on the lounge (except when 4 year old decides he likes the lounge better). Hasn’t slept in his bed for a couple of years. Tried everything. Thomas the Tank curtains, quilt cover, nice sheets etc. Putting him back in his bed 5000 times. He shares a room with his sister (19 months) so just wakes up everyone with this protests. I could go on forever but there is one thing someone once said to me and that is “Does he sleep?” I said “yes, all night”. She said “don’t worry until you have to – at least he sleeps”. I know he won’t be 12 and coming into bed with me so for now it works for us.

  • Shannon

    Constantly!!! Our oldest son is now 9, was a terrible sleeper but came good eventually but this involved awful things like controlled crying which I hated doing but it did work pretty quickly, although I do remember around 3 and 4 one of us had to lay down next to his bed until he fell asleep and if you tried to sneak to early we had to start all over again! My other son who is nearly 2 was a great sleeper for about 5 months then it all turned to shit when he had a constant cold for months, we have halfheartedly tried to get him back in his cot (have not even bothered buying a bed!) but he gets so upset he makes himself sick and I can’t go through that every night plus it’s disruptive to my other child who needs his sleep. So…we are in the same place as you, child in the middle, back kicking, flesh squeezing, night feeding and neither of us getting a great nights sleep. Sometimes it’s not too bad, I think if he was in his own bed now I would lay awake half the night wondering if he’s OK. Truth be told I am so tired and too lazy to get up in the freezing cold, maybe I will feel more motivated when the weather is nicer. Just repeat to yourself “it;s not forever, it will get better” your older child is proof of this. Good luck

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03650438614892561462 bmbr

    I don’t think it’s laziness… it’s just sheer exhaustion. I have never really had this situation, but I have had friends who have and they’ve lived with it for years, much to my horror and their desperation.
    I have one friend who has a 9 year old that sleeps with them. So when you say she won’t do this forever… :-/
    Thing is, if you make a bed on the floor and it’s cold, perhaps she’ll go back to her own bed? But what would be easier is perhaps getting her to stay in her own bed all night by making it more appealing and yours less so. Therein lies the difficulty.
    One friend had her mother to stay for 2 weeks and it was her who did the rapid return of the child to the bed every night before she got to the parent’s door and it worked.
    Lack of good sleep is torture. For you and Rob and it’s probably affecting her too. I think you should set the date to be bad cop, but take it in turns.. you, Rob, you, Rob… until she realises that it’s not worth her while.
    Good luck.

  • Melinda

    Yep ! I have been too lazy to change bad habits. Similar issue to yours; but was just soooo effing tired !!!

    With the sleep thing, we did a reward chart (I usually hate these things) in order to replace Miss E’s bad habit of coming into our bed. She had to stay in her bed 10 nights in a row and we gave her something (I can’t remember what). it worked though. Every morning when she woke she would come into bed for a cuddle and we would tell her how good she was.

    She still comes into bed for a cuddle – she is now 8 and declares ‘Mummy, without these morning cuddles, I think I will just die”. I think I would die without these cuddles too !

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09334181966209041832 Corinne – Daze of My Life

    Beth, I could have written this post word for word. Sleep apnoea and all. Only difference was I threw a non- sleeping baby into the mix and we didn’t have a spare room so Clint moved to the couch. I stayed in bed with 3yo and baby. Craptastic!
    There was a mum at school who had situation too.
    Things have been a little better at the in-laws (girl has snuck into granny’s bed and boy has slept in his cot). Though last night went back to our old ways.
    No answers but I’m hoping to sort things out once we move into our new home.

    You’re not alone xxx

  • Anonymous

    Beth, my 3rd was the perfect sleeper and then came the twins. Who do not sleep, they are now 18mths and I think i’am am so exhausted that its easier to give them a bottle and crawl back into my warm snug bed, then listen to them scream and wake the rest of the house!, I keep telling myself, this is not forever, I hope!!!
    Jodie crane
    PS I have to put anonymous as I am not sure which profile to select when leaving a comment!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13184758391258182362 Katy

    OMG yes ! The mr works away so I’ve got into the bad habit of feeding the baby in our bed and then sleeping with her & now she hates her cot! So they one night a week he is home unless we lose our imagination the only thing happening is 50 shades of cosleeping!!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16611229357228521510 Hazel

    My parents had 5 kids, and although we were allowed to jump in their bed if we were scared it never lasted very long, I can remember staring at their digital alarm clock and counting the minutes before I could leave, waiting for them to ask “would you like to go back to your own bed now?” It wasn’t til years later that I found out what they did to us. They would put us in between them and then slowly move inwards until we were hot and uncomfortable, and then suggest hey surely your bed is much nicer? We bought it every time!

    • Anonymous

      Hazel – best tip ever!! Laughing here – never heard this one before but I reckon they were defs onto something. Literally pressure them out of there – I’ll give it a go tonight.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00773581188651200076 Coal Valley View

      That is so funny Hazel because that’s exactly what happened to me the one and only time I went into my parents bed – it was so hot and uncomfortable I never went there again!!

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02005492484650666091 BabyMac

      GENIUS! Will take that on tonight!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14544605184972473646 Katie

    This sounds EXACTLY like our house! We just said last night that there will never be a good time to fix the problem so we are just going to have to go for it. Yes we will be sleep deprived and grumpy and want to scream every time he comes back but hopefully after that we will all be getting quality sleep again!
    Last time we tried it , over a year ago, we put him back 40 times in 2 hours! Arghhhhh!!!!! The time has really and truly come for us to get tough. We have been finding every excuse possible but I truly don’t think we can go on like this any longer. And I don’t think you are lazy, I think we try and keep everyone happy but there comes a point when things just have to change, you may nearly be at that point. I know we are!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13184758391258182362 Katy

    Sorry another question from me! Where did you get the girls nightgowns from? They would be perfect for Chloe as it’s so cold here too.

    • Nic Wes

      I was going to ask that too … hard to find long-sleeved nighties for girls and my daughter gets hot at night but has her arms out … a long-sleeved nightie would be perfect.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02005492484650666091 BabyMac

      No worries – I ALWAYS get asked that. I get them from a shop in Bowral called Bimbee kids who have such a great selection of nighties (cotton & flanelette) they don’t have an online shop but they may be able to let you buy over the phone and send?

  • Sathya

    We had this problem up until about a month ago, but with our eldest. I know exactly what you’re talking about, in the middle of the night when its cold and you’re cosy and a little snuggly child comes into your bed you allow it and then the trouble begins! I couldn’t change the bad habit. Could not do it. My hubby did it while he was on holidays for a few weeks being the stay-at-home-dad and quietly got up everytime Austen woke up and walked him back to his room. Now we’re back to full nights sleep with just 2 of us in bed and its heaven! I wonder why we didn’t fix this earlier! Goodluck!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14225191303428309442 Seana Smith

    I’ve had a little lass in my bed every night since hubby went OS. He’s back on Saturday so I’m weaning her off it by putting her on a mattress on the floor beside the bed. A good compromise, I think, she is happy there and we don’t mind. I can’t bear the thought of the shrieking at night… and anyway, happy to have her with me when her dad’s away, she’s not too wriggly. So we’ll put her in her own bed, then when she comes though she can sleep on the mattress beside us. Practical!

  • Anonymous

    We pat (yes pat as in dog) our 4 year old daughter to sleep every night. As a baby, I would just pat her gently for a few moments & off she would go into a wonderful night’s sleep. She was & still is the best sleeper & clearly ‘the pat’ has somehow played a big part in that. However, she now WILL NOT GO to sleep without ‘the pat’ & the nights when we refuse ‘the pat’..well, they are just hell…for everyone! Our daughter has become a pat addict! To pat or not to pat…comes down to sleep or not to sleep. We are not too lazy to change this bad habit….we are CRAZY to change this bad habbit! Bec x

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02005492484650666091 BabyMac

      I SAT with Daisy every night until she fell asleep until she was almost FIVE. I know. MENTAL. We broke the habit when she moved into a bunk bed and thank God we did. The trouble with giving it up was ME not her. Kids move on…I have to remember that!

    • Anonymous

      My nephew (9) still has his parents sit with him until he goes to sleep, and they wake up every morning and he is in bed with them. I’ve told them they have too big a bed if they don’t notice it! My SIL always says ‘he won’t be doing it when he’s 16′ but my kids have never been in bed with us at night and I’m so grateful! Hope you find a solution soon :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10719163569308739697 Iliska Dreams

    After reading your post, I don”t feel so bad. I used to think I had an easy sleeper. Jarvis would have a feed at night around 9pm, sleep until 4ish have a second sleep until 7am. Ahh those were the days.
    Then we flew up to visit the in-laws and Jarvis shared the bed with us. We thought, no biggie it is only for a week. Three months later he is still in our bed. The moment we put him in his cot he wakes screaming. Takes an hour or more to settle him down.
    Or we put him in bed with us and he sleeps through the night. Jarvis and his Dad wake up fresh and relaxed.
    Me? Well I spend the night half out of the bed,normally it is my butt hanging out. Getting kicked in the tummy, hair pulled (Jarvis twirls my hair in his sleep)Attempting to sleep with two bed hogs, who fart and teeth grind (gum gnash) in the bed with me.
    Yes I am an exhausted co-sleeper.

    http://iliska-dreams.blogspot.com.au/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13272090974052486539 Mrs Woog

    It would not be so bad if she was not a karate sleeper! xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00859110942745952818 Tahnee

    this is such a tough one beth. our two eldest started getting out of bed when a new sibling arrived home from the hospital, I think curious to see why the baby got to sleep in our room and they didn’t. I have done the hard slog of putting them back to bed each time they get out, which has worked for a period, but we are back there again now. both our eldest two have started waking and getting out at some stage, sometimes on the same night, sometimes they will sleep nights in a row in their own beds. we’ve made the decision to put them into the same room this weekend to see if it helps put them at ease to know they have company. most of the time lately I have been so tired I don’t even know they are in our bed until morning. and you’re not lazy – you’re tired! hope you find a solution that works for you all soon x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15645948528323433452 Averil

    I’m guilty of this at the moment with my one year old. I know what I have to do change things but I’m SO TIRED, that each night I say, maybe tomorrow we’ll start getting tougher. And because it’s freezing at night here at the moment it just makes it that little bit harder. Because she’s my 3rd, I KNOW it’s just a stage. Her 2 brothers sleep all night in their own beds no problem. In the meantime a good concealer is my best friend!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00181265355634519212 Kristine

    Beth, you mentioned a spare bedroom. Could you put one of the girls in there while you sort out the sleeping. If they like sleeping together, then that can be her reward for staying in her own bed – she gets to move back in with her sister. Just a thought….
    Good luck with it. They say a habit is formed in only three nights so hopefully soon you’ll be on the other side of it.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09957680949802091890 Rebecca

    We have been having similar sleep dramas. I was getting into her bed so I could sleep, and leaving her in with my husband. But….you are right that is no way for a married couple to live!!
    So, I made sure she had plenty of warm blankets. I was concerned she was waking up cold. Bought some fancy, glittery unicorn stickers and started one of those lame sticker charts. And bought one of those baby night lights, put it on a short extension cord so it’s in the middle of the room ( the PowerPoint is under her bed so we didn’t get enough light shining out). And am pleased to report it’s been working for about 3 weeks so far! She also sleeps with her favourite bouncy ball…..whatever it takes.

  • Anonymous

    She is gorgeous, what a cheeky cheeky grin!
    That break in New York must have been glorious, sleeping and eating whenever…
    Do whatever it takes to survive.

  • Lisa laird

    You know what the problem is? She’s too cute. But you are totally right – one day she will either move on or you will have a sudden surge of motivation to change the habit. Until then, whatever, right?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17646925050489695536 Mother Down Under

    I am in the middle of a similar situation.
    Baby C is now fifteen months old…and I can count on one hand the number of times he…and therefore me…have slept through the night.

    And it is exactly like you said…if it isn’t one thing, then it is another.

    It was being a baby, then teeth, then septic arthritis and some time in hospital, then getting back on track at home, then weaning off night time milk, then weaning off the bottle.

    And like you said, it is fighting the same sleeping battle over and over and over.
    And fighting those battles while you are exhausted and it is all too easy to surrender in the name of some kind of sleep…even if it is bad sleep.

    Judging from this post and what other mothers have said, I likely have a long way to go before an entire night of uninterrupted sleep comes my way.
    Thank goodness for coffee!
    And thank goodness these kids are so dang cute…Harper is adorable…that fourth picture is perfect!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12782660504985924636 Kelly E

    Understand completely. At one stage both girls were in our bed – it was ridiculous. Luckily bribes seem to work for us – 5 nights in your own bed all night and you get something at Smiggle for the 6 year old and stickers for the 4 year old. Once they get these we extend to more nights. Working at the moment – fingers crossed it continues.

  • http://www.ducksonthedam.com.au/ Alli @ Ducks on the Dam

    Oh how I hear you. We had a rotten sleeper for number one – only 25 minute cap naps blah blah blah – heard it all before. Did the tough yards. Went off to sleep school. Became the sleep police and finally at 10 months old she started sleeping well and life has been a bed of roses since (with her at least). The little miss second child – different story. Slept well as a bubba but then was an absolute nightmare as a toddler / small child. She was up every 5 minutes, called out, into our room – I’m sure you get where I’m coming from. We did the bed on the floor in our room on advice from others and that became her favourite bed so much that she wouldn’t sleep in her own. Ditched that. She is now 8. Sleeps pretty well most of the time. Unfortunately I can’t offer any golden advice tips as I just did the hard yards and got up EVERY time she did and put her back to bed. I was tired and grumpy and horrible but I just did it. Bribery is always a good thing to try though…..

  • http://www.ducksonthedam.com.au/ Alli @ Ducks on the Dam

    By the way – I’m loving the fourth picture down. That is an absolute ripper. Well done

  • Bridget

    Hi Beth, been a follower of yours for a little while now and de-lurking here to offer you a suggestion. I know what you’re going through. It’s not so much about laziness but you can’t fight a toddler who’s going to have her own way can you!! Anyway she just needs some extra comfort and TLC that’s all. How can we say no?

    What we did was put a little cot next to the bed of hubby and I, on my side, about the same height as the bed, so that little one (who’s also two) can snuggle up next to me but everyone can still sleep comfortably. It’s not ideal I know, but it seems to work. Later on when she’s feeling more comfortable then we can “wean” her back into her own bad and make her stay in it. I know and what about sex. Well you’re going to have to just lock the door during those times I think. But if you allow her to sleep with you more than not she’ll be OK with it. Hope you guys get some sleep soon! xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06396226904711922049 Ingi Mc

    That brings back memories…bad memories! My two were appalling sleepers. I totally get the “lazy” feeling – some days it’s just too hard. Anyway, we did the controlled sleeping thing – when we were tough enough and it works. Times two. They are now 11 and 13 and get this – sleep in. Yup. It will happen to you too :-) Good luck!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09451382657183203521 Kelly HTandT

    Our 2 1/2 yr old likes to climb into our bed and we’re both often too lazy to send him back (last night for example). But we do find after a few persistent nights of sending him back to his bed, we will have a break of a few weeks where he doesn’t come in. Then he’ll get another cold or something and wind up back with us!

  • Kris

    Look at that little face…geez you’re mean…

    Or rather…I have had much experience in this department and have come to the definite conclusion that you get what you’re given as far as children and their sleep habits go and so don’t spend much time on the whys and hows of it.

    I would do the bed in your room next to you and tell her she is welcome to come and go as she pleases and hold your hand etc, but she has to sleep in her spot. She’ll keep coming as long as she needs the reassurance or until she can’t be bothered. I think it gives both of you some control over the situation…might be a good transition option. Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02005492484650666091 BabyMac

      WOW! Wow.

    • Kris

      I’ll triple that wow. I’m a bit jealous that I don’t get to be that kid. I’m thinking a queen bed size option on that might suit me well. Also…I would like a contractor of my very own.

  • Nic Wes

    Sounds like you know what you need to do. Wait out the cold weather, then when it warms up a bit bring out the Tough Cop. It’s the only way.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05039768799104337634 Tania Maree

    Have you thought of paying her?
    Other than that I’ve got nothing ;o)
    Good luck,
    Tania xx

  • Dionne

    My daughter who is 6 did it from 2 till 4 years and only does it when she has had a nightmare now. My 3 year old son has been doing it for 6 months so I’ve counting on bad sleep for another 18 months and then fingers crossed I will get to share the bed just with my husband!

    I’ve tried to take them back into their own beds a million times and it is way more stressfull and it didn’t break their habit!

    Hang in there!

  • Anonymous

    Totally. I sit with my daughter until she falls asleep for her daytime nap and then again at night. Sometimes this takes an hour or more. I am probably crazy but she’s happy so whatever! I also take it in turns with my husband to resettle her at night.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12840098149601037580 Anna Schiopu

    Our 2 year old is the same, I just keep reminding myself in time sleeping with mum and dad will horrify her so I may as well enjoy it while it lasts, even if I wake up with toes in my back every morning!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09948416637597813343 Francesca

    Why don’t you wait until the weather is warmer, when it’s not so awful for anyone being out of bed. The bed on the floor sounds like the easiest and most effective transition to make and you’ll feel better implementing this when it’s not so damn cold for everyone. And you don’t have long to wait. And everyone will be feeling happier anyway. And, fact is, this will pass so fast and you’ll be desperately wishing that just once in a while she would just jump in and you could feel that little body again.

  • Reen

    Both you and Fat Mum Slim have blogged about sleeping battles today, it’s so reassuring to know that others go through sleeping dramas with their child/children. The amount of times I wanted to punch mothers in the face when they exclaimed that their babies slept through, blah blah blah, while mine weren’t.

    As others have said, you are NOT lazy or giving in, sleep deprivation is a b…. and you have to do whatever works at the time as you are so overwhelmingly tired and bad sleep is better than NO sleep.

    But I did find for me that I had to do something because in the end my son’s sleeping was getting beyond ridiculous and I was not in a happy place. It might be hard for a few days, weeks even, hell, maybe even months, but in the long run, it’ll better for you, Rob and your little one. No more karate kicks in bed, they suck! Good luck I hope you work something out, but at the end of the day, if the situation remains the same, don’t beat yourself up about it. When they’re teenagers, you’ll be yelling at them to wake up!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07798113319884937529 Margie

    I don’t think it is called lazy, more survival. The tough love hurdle may be bigger in your head than it may actually turn out to be. Could only be 2 night of tough love. Can you hang out until it is a little warmer? Getting up in the cold just makes it tougher for you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03395454257023289058 SarahMac

    This is us too. Husband spent a good part of my second pregnancy and the first few months sleeping on the floor if our older child’s room just so she wouldi keep waking me or baby up. We recently did t!he old re training thing yet again too. Worked surprisingly well and now things are better but of course not perfect. We rang Tresilian helpline they were v sensible. Now it is the baby in bed with us!! Aargh

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02945710703939292438 kelly

    Ummmm yes… X 1000… Its called survival!!!.. Especially when it comes to sleep x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17317677066408030053 Faux Fuchsia

    After reading the comments on this thread I’m curious as to how much sleeps everyone needs.

    I’m suspecting a lot.

  • http://blog.scissorspaperrockdesigns.com.au/ Claire Chadwick @ Scissors Paper Rock

    My 4.5 year old doesn’t sleep through the night yet! And neither does our 9month old. I’ve just written off sleep for now, and can’t wait to pay them back BIGTIME when they’re lazy, sleepy teenagers :))))
    xx

  • Bianca

    You just described our nights. Switch daughter for son, and you have us. Right down to the sleep apnea (and subsequent surgery), right down to the too tired to put him back into bed and the husband leaving for the spare bed on particularly crowded nights.

    But I am far to tired to contemplate even LESS sleep by putting him back and soothing the protests (and him waking my daughter, then). We are hoping to be more brave when the warmer weather rolls around.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14787027291104632931 frommetomum

    Oh, I hear you! The twinadoes end up in our bed every single night. We have one screamer – nightmares? – who races in and despite knowing that we should put him straight back into his own bed he screams the house down waking twin #2. And then all four of us are up. So we let him stay, and we all drift back off until the kicking and wriggling starts. And then as if by ESP the second twinado wanders in and playtime starts. It’s exhausting. But absolutely no idea how to fix it. I go by the theory that cuddles are lovely – and for a limited time only – and that some sleep is better than none. Sorry I’m no help. At least she’s bloody adorable. xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14051966224299058176 clare

    my 3 year old son slept with me every night for about 8 months I just gave up and put him in there from the start of the night. my husband and I rarely share a bed now as we have a baby as well and we have got into the routine of him sleeping in the spare room so at least one of us is pleasant in the morning. It was not until the 3 year old learnt to sleep in his own bed (and through the night, it took 3 years) that i realised that i had probably not slept deeply or properly for the entire time he was with me. Generally now, although the baby wakes me 1-2 times a night i am getting a better nights sleep. Saying that the older one is asleep next to me as i type in bed as the dummy fairy came last night so trying to get him to sleep was hard and my husband is still at work. I dont think you are lazy it is just what you need to do right now to get through, before we all know it the children will be teenagers and will no longer want to snuggle with us. Thank you for writing about this as it makes me feel better that there are others out there doing the same, friends always seem aghast when i say that my son often shares our bed as I dont have the energy to keep putting him back in his own bed and that the baby sleeps in our room.

  • Anonymous

    Sheyne Rowley – Australian Baby Whisperer. Genius. Our family owes all our sleep filled nights to her.
    Hands down.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14028569197862413268 paulines

    Dearest Beth,

    Both my boys slept with us in our bed. I think it was around the age of 6 that they slept in their own beds. YES, MY HUSBAND AND I WERE LAZY AND PROUD OF IT. We just wanted sleep.

    It was only this morning I thought to myself how I miss the days when the boys would be in our bed and we could cuddle.

    Then they become teenagers and you don’t sleep that well when they are out.

    Vicious circle I am afraid.

    Good luck.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02005492484650666091 BabyMac

      Oh Goodness – hasn’t even thought of that!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13151973819133926868 Mama of 2 boys

    TOTALLY Lady! Until just recently, Angus was sleeping on the lounge in the lounge room! I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before!? His sleeping habits went skew wiff the minute we brought Felix home from the hospital… so ahhh, two years ago! In that time, he has gone from his brand spanking new single bed (which he NEVER took to), to the floor in our room, to our bed, to the lounge. Quite the gypsy sleeper. The lounge is where he resided the longest, probably a good 9 months. Oh the guilt… but hey, we ‘mostly’ all got an alright sleep because of it. But about a month ago I bit the bullet and got bunk beds, because Felix had also started playing up. I didn’t want this to go on into next year when Angus is due to start school. So far so good with the bunks. But I relate to this post completely… sometimes sleep just wins out, no matter the bad habits we might be feeding.
    Good luck with the training when it starts, she will sleep through eventually. Beautiful photos too! xo

  • http://www.octaviaandvicky.com/ Kylie @ Octavia and Vicky

    I am in the same place right now – I feel like I could have written this post. Except for the part about the four year old. It’s time. I will definitely do something about this. Tomorrow.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02005492484650666091 BabyMac

      Same! Tomorrow. As in maybe Spring…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01556432714220385619 Amelia {Weddings, Babies… Everything}

    Looks like there’s lots of us in the same boat!
    Seriously, how can such a small person take up so much room in a king sized bed?!
    Our D has one of us lie with her while she goes to sleep. Every night. Then she’ll come in to us anywhere between 2 and 5.
    I’m worried the little man’s sleeping habits are going to go the same way. But I guess it’s not forever.
    And there’s no way I’m tackling it while it’s still winter. I’m selfish. There, I said it. :)
    Hope Harper turns it around soon. That photo of her is adorbs!! xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01556432714220385619 Amelia {Weddings, Babies… Everything}

    Looks like there’s lots of us in the same boat!
    Seriously, how can such a small person take up so much room in a king sized bed?!
    Our D has one of us lie with her while she goes to sleep. Every night. Then she’ll come in to us anywhere between 2 and 5.
    I’m worried the little man’s sleeping habits are going to go the same way. But I guess it’s not forever.
    And there’s no way I’m tackling it while it’s still winter. I’m selfish. There, I said it. :)
    Hope Harper turns it around soon. That photo of her is adorbs!! xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01556432714220385619 Amelia {Weddings, Babies… Everything}

    Looks like there are loads of us in the same boat. Which is comforting.
    Our D needs one of us with her to fall asleep. Then comes in to us anywhere between 1 and 5am. I could take her back to bed but it’s too cold. And I’ll never understand how one small person can take up so much room in a king sized bed?!
    I’m worried we will get Into the same bad habits with the wee man but I guess it wont last forever.
    There’s no way I’m tackling it until the weather warms up though. (and sex?! What’s that?!!)
    Hope Harper turns it around soon. That photo is absolutely adorbs. xx

  • http://www.thefifowife.com.au/ debbie

    my husband works away a month at a time, during that time my boys sleep with me..three of them. They sleep in their own bed when he is home with the exception of one who creeps in. I was just getting exhausted when he was away. I did care but not anymore becasue pretty soon they will grow up and grow out of it and wont want a bar of me..Now Im sucking it up while I can..xxDeb

  • Poppy

    Sorry to say it, Beth, but I think you’ve made your bed here – now you have to lie in it. With or without Harper, your choice!

  • http://www.loving-whispers.com/ Dannii

    Oh we have so been there too! Mainly with our now 3yo, and we only *just* got him sleeping in his own bed. I say just go with what works for YOU and YOUR FAMILY. They wont be in our beds forever.