The stash

Edited 3/7/13: Winner has been chosen: SUE N with this comment:

I have been known to have a cheeky sick day, without any of my family knowing. I get up and get dressed and do everything as normal and then after all drop offs are done, I go home and watch crap TV for the day and eat the cheeky lollies I buy and hide just for me. When everyone returns home I just act like it was a normal work day, but I feel oh so relaxed. Cheeky sick day’s rock!
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A sponsored post for Allen’s Cheekies Lollies with a $500 giveaway

Can you see it there? In my pantry? Completely out of eye line of little people. Nestled in amongst the oats and the dried apricots and fried shallots? Yep. The lone Princess party bag. A leftover, if you will, from the last kids party we went to.

L1

Why is it there you ask? Well, because I STOLE IT. I always steal them. At the end of a kids party I am quick to grab the bounty from the tired Mum hosting the party and whacking those bad boys into my bag quicker than you can say pass the parcel. Of course my kids aren’t stupid, they know there is something in there so of course I give them the most crap lolly in there and a rubber or whistle, the non edible stuff we whack in those little bags. The rest? The top shelf stuff? Straight into my secret stash.

The secret stash is not about guilt. Or shame. OH NO! The secret stash is a little something, just for you. Because DEAR GOD YOU DESERVE IT. You do! And who doesn’t find having something over your kids for a change a little fun?

Throughout any given day there are moments where a Mother may need to access the stash. A tantruming three year old, for example, will send you there, maybe more than once. A stressful day with work will definitely send you there. An argument with your partner? Yep. Those last 20 minutes before bedtime? SO THERE.

There are, however, rules on accessing the stash.

  1. Discretion. Pretend that you are in the kitchen washing up. Turn on a tap if needs be, no child or husband will come into a kitchen where washing up is going on. The sound of running water will stop the sound of any wrappers opening too. And then? Slip in and access that stash. Get right in there if you can. If you are lucky enough to have a walk in pantry, you bet your arse you shut that door. I am jealous!

This is not good enough, you will get caught:

F3

This is better:

F4

2. Be stealth like. Soft footwear helps, I find slippers are best.

L0

3. Destroy all evidence. Make sure that you wash that mouth out if you have had chocolate. Kids can smell that stuff a mile away. Don’t think about chewing said stash as you walk into a room, you finish every last chew before you move. Kids can see this stuff in teeth, on hands. And WHATEVER YOU DO? Do not leave any wrappers in that bin. Like a thrown out broken pencil or Preschool painting (oh DON’T say you’ve never done that) a child will see that stuff next time they throw something in the bin. Hide the evidence. Bury it waaaaay down there in that fancy bin of yours.

F5

Or, you could just get yourself your own stash. Because really, we’re grown ups.

L6

Allen’s have launched a new range of lollies just for women. A little packet, for home or the office or car, to take a cheeky moment in the day, just for yourself.  With fruit flavoured soft jelly centres, they are quite the step up from the kids lolly bags.

Pack

To celebrate the launch Allen’s are giving away to one lucky BabyMac reader a $500 voucher to spend on something JUST for you, and that’s a little cheeky. On some fancy underwear! If you’re anything like me, your underwear drawer would probably consist of control tops, old maternity bras and worn out, thread bare TAN bras and black cotton knickers. Who cares if no one knows it’s on, it can be just for you, a moment in the day to enjoy!

For a chance to win a $500 voucher to spend at zodee.com.au, leave a comment below telling me a cheeky moment in your day!

Terms and conditions of the giveaway can be found here and you can also check out the Allen’s Facebook page here.

Comments

  1. Virginia says:

    This is hilarious! I can well and truly relate

  2. OK….this is disgusting but I’m going to confess.

    If we ever have Ice Magic in the house I have been known to chug it straight from the bottle while hiding behind the pantry door. Beauty is it makes no noise so husby on the lounge doesn’t suspect a thing!…..Downside is that mofo sticks to your teeth like nobodies business so unless I want to risk getting caught looking like a pirate, I have I have to brush those teeth toot-sweet.

    • MotherDownUnder says:

      Is it weird that I totally want to try this now?
      I of course smother ice cream with it but I never thought to eat it plain…genius!

    • I have to comment here and say that’s SUCH a waste of Ice Magic! It’s needs to be all crackly on vanilla ice cream! BLASPHEMY!!! :-)

  3. Maryandlil says:

    I ALWAYS steal my kids lolly bags. Always!! haha! I always cut the edges off the slice I make. Noone knows that a piece is missing. There are no squares taken, just edges cut away making the pieces smaller!!

  4. My neck hurts from nodding enthusiastically reading your post……yep been there done that and got the shirt to prove it or at least the gut that the shirt barely covers.

    My cheeky moment involves unplugging the wifi router when I get sick of the family (husband included) thinking they live in a holiday resort. They don’t know where to plug it back in and think the Internet has gone down (again). It’s been known to be out of order for days ;-) Very cheeky but hey a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do to get some help.

  5. I was so very determined to absolutely hate these Lollies because I was so annoyed by how they are being marketed (felt like I was part of the stereotyped dumbed down demographic). Sadly I was offered a sample and discovered they are yum! Doh! The moral dilemmas of a thirty something mum of three are always going to be blurred by a sneaky sugar hit!

  6. A spoonful of milo when I go past the pantry. Oh the crunch! We go through A LOT of milo!

  7. Luisa Munoz says:

    Ok – I work in the evenings and I leave in the afternoon half an hour earlier than I should! I feel so guilty as I could be spending some quality time with the family as we have such busy working schedules but I love driving to work blaring MY own music and then having enough time to grab a proper coffee and a pastry! Those 40 mins are worth their weight in gold to me!

  8. SameliasMum says:

    Playing on FB and Twitter in the bathroom or laundry. Those are my sneaky little stolen moments, away from husband and kids, during the day.

  9. Bahaha! I love the pantry door shot – I have been known to do that myself. My cheeky moment yesterday – chopping up vegetables for the slow cooker meal, I go to the freezer, get out the icecream, (chop a carrot or two), microwave a few frozen raspberries, (chop up the broccoli), mix the icecream and raspberries in a cup until it is slushie goodness, (chop up some mushrooms), continue to eat the slushie and keep my ‘coffee’ on the shelf where no child can see what’s in the cup. Raspberry/ice cream slushie gone, vegie curry done!

  10. Icing sugar. Straight from the jar on a spoon. So bad. So good!

  11. jessie.batterham says:

    Milo Sandwiches (Fresh white bread with Western Star butter) this little snack flies under the radar – looks like a normal sandwich but it is easily one of the easiest little treats you can make from kitchen staples. Nom Nom Nom

  12. Narelle Rock says:

    I buy lollies and chocolate when the kids are all at school, then I hide it inside my All Bran box in the pantry where I know they will NEVER find it!! a whole stash all to myself that I indulge in at least once a day!

  13. That’s so funny! I used to do the exact same thing. However my kids are now 5. 11 and 13, these days I have to ask for a lolly and they always give me the daggy ones that no one else wants but in my desperation I take it, sad but true!

  14. I just finished reading your post, while eating left over liquorice from my sons birthday cake( a boat from the AWW birthday book), my 3 yr old came in wanted “up” and asked me “whats that smell?”.My liquorice breath, thats what!! My little cheeky moment caught out.
    A very timely post about moments mums must have and children who know too much !!

  15. Lisa Mckenzie says:

    My cheeky part of the day is with chocolate I keep it in the boring vegetable drawer in the fridge or in the cupboard where the dog biscuits go,not anywhere near the dog biccies though, oh no, it is MINE you see and I eat it when everyone is in bed at night when I am watching whatever I want on tv and it tastes way better like that held in your hand and melting yum.
    I thought I was the only one who stole kids lolly bags I was the mum that used to do that and yes you have to be very very quiet and pretend you are doing something boring….Love your slippers by the way are they felted they are gorgeous!

  16. elisha hayes says:

    The best cheeky moment is finding the stash of chocolate that you forgot about while you are eating from another stash. Agghhh bliss!! My husband must think I really do have a pkt of timtams that never runs out.

  17. Bahahahaha – SNAP! I have the EXACT same lolly bag on the top shelf of my pantry at the moment for exactly the same reason! My cheeky moment is snaffling chocolate raspberry bullets in the pocket of my dressing gown and eating them with my morning coffee whilst I make the kids have toast. Do as Mummy says, not what Mummy does.

  18. Tori Edwards says:

    I keep a jar of honey in my office – meant to be to add to chai or green tea, but on occasion when I am REALLY desperate, I have been known to have a spoonful to get through a sugar craving. Straight into my mouth if there’s no spoon on hand! If only my office didn’t have a glass front wall, which means I’ve been caught in the act more than once…

  19. jacque stone says:

    Taking a sick day off work without telling the family. Drop the kids off say bye to the husband then return home to put your feet up on the couch. Pick them up from after school care and you have has a cheeky day all to yourself.

  20. Getting my kids fruit for morning tea, but then tucking into something sweet while they aren’t looking!

  21. ahoy.jenni says:

    I hope this doesn’t sound like abuse but there can be advantages to having a child with special needs…..you see my girl has down syndrome, and for health reasons I didn’t give her chocolate or icecream, lollies until she accidentally discovered it herself when she was about 5 (true!) up until then my husband and I could eat chocolate and lollies right in front of her. We would wolf down a bag in the car, with her blissfully unaware in the back. Now I’m writing this I realize it doesn’t sound cheeky but rather mean!! As for the lolly bags I really thought I was the only mum who pilfered them, LOL. Thanks for exposing us all BM !

  22. Gail Virgona says:

    Of course I take the lolly bags. For medicinal purposes only. Let them have one snake them stash them in high cupboard for emergencies. Cheeky mummy moment? Had to go to boring planning meeting at the kids school and suggested to other parents we all take a bottle of wine to make the planning more planningful. Goody do gooder mum said that would be inappropriate – to drink wine at a school meeting. At 8pm! So I took some anyway in my babies sippy cup and just had a sip now and then pretending I was drinking her water. Don’t worry – didn’t let the baby drink it! Made the meeting much more fun.

  23. Michelle Rees says:

    Not much of a lolly bag girl. More after that caffeine hit. I tell my three year old there is no milk left for his cup so Im sure there is milk left for my morning fix. As I sit and write this Im enjoying the spoils of just such a lie. Guess Ill go get dressed and buy some milk, might pop in some cheekies as well, they do look yum. Now the question is do I share….?

  24. Ha ha, too funny, I am guilty of the throwing away of the preschool picture, and getting caught, there are only so many you can keep. My daughters school has a mothers day stall where they buy you a gift (that has been donated) for mother’s day, I was sprung trying to donate my gift, a candy pink plastic handbag to charity! Bad mummy, bad mummy! I had to pretend it was all a big mistake. I hide chocolate with the tea but my cheeky moment is trying to sneak a few pages of reading in, I have been known to read in the laundry, or in my kids room while putting washing away.

  25. The only cheeky moments I have at the moment consist of wiping my 3 week olds bum!

  26. I have been known to have a cheeky sick day, without any of my family knowing. I get up and get dressed and do everything as normal and then after all drop offs are done, I go home and watch crap TV for the day and eat the cheeky lollies I buy and hide just for me. When everyone returns home I just act like it was a normal work day, but I feel oh so relaxed. Cheeky sick day’s rock!

    • BabyMacBlogBeth says:

      Congrats Sue…you have been chosen as the winner! Can you let me know your contact details so I can arrange the voucher to be sent to you? Thanks!

  27. oh my golly! I do a Gwyneth Paltrow and sneak a cigarette one day a week. So naughty – don’t tell my partner.

  28. Mandy Y says:

    Going to Zumba is definitely my cheeky moment – the double whammy of no kids, and channelling my inner pole dancer ;)

  29. I *may* sometimes buy a little something-sweet for mummy when we go grocery shopping and sneakily eat it in the car on the way home. I am perfecting the sneak-eat-pretend-to-cough so my kids don’t notice! :)

  30. natalie says:

    Hearing the garage door opening and racing into the playroom to pretend I’ve been picking up the girls toys. Exclaiming when my husband walks in that I have indeed cleaned up the room countless times that day.

  31. Rachael says:

    I like to have an emergency Sara Lee French Vanilla Cheescake in the freezer just incase unexpected guests drop in. Well, that’s what I tell myself anyway. When the kids are in bed I crack open that baby and cut myself a big slice and go make love to it with my mouth.

  32. Becteria says:

    My cheeky moment goes a whole level above hiding in the pantry. I lock myself in the bathroom with my iPhone and some strawberry creams and pretend I am relieving myself so that I can read my blogs and escape from the constant barrage of requests from the kiddies. One time they thought I had fallen asleep I was in there so long!

  33. the cheeky lunch “meeting” is my fave.
    it really is work related (for at least the first 5 minutes) then its wine & no phone answering for the rest of the afternoon!

  34. Bree Di Mattina says:

    The school mums go to the park on friday arvo, let the kids run amok and we drink wine and eat chips!

  35. My Cheeky moment is buying yoyo biscuits “for the kids” & then making them do jobs around the house while I munch away, exclaiming how yummy they are so they had better hurry up. Is it just me or do you break them apart & lick the insides out?

  36. Caroline C says:

    Come 5 o’clock a cheeky wine,
    Or should that secret just be mine?
    But now no need to be so sneaky,
    With the perfect fruity Allen’s Cheekie!

  37. supersarahwhite says:

    I use the toilet as my excuse for not getting involved in ridiculous disagreements between my girls. Two things, firstly the door is a tricky bugger and can be quite hard to open from the outside, secondly, who wants to come in and have me mediate an argument when I bellow “ON THE LOO DOING A STINKY POO” from behind a stuck door. It can buy me anything up to half an hour to read, check facebook or just sit and dream.

  38. Geepers, I need to get my act together. May have done a little internet shopping without telling anyone….think I could use some help!

  39. Natasha Andrews says:

    My cheeky treat is kept in the laundry – because we have an open plan lounge room and kitchen and I am always caught out when I sneak a cheeky treat. I have a second “first-aid’ kit that contains chocolates and lollies for mid-afternoon mummy meltdowns. On occasions I have also been known to hide a bottle of soft-drink in there and pop ice-cubes in my coffee cup and nip into the laundry for a sneaky top me up.
    Oh my I sound like an alcoholic hiding my treat consumption from my 4 year old!! Glad to know I’m not the only one…good on Allen’s for creating treats for us mums ;)

    • Natasha Andrews says:

      Darn just read the terms and conditions – I always read the instructions last – I am a bit over the 30 words!!

      How about this?

      “Sweets, chocolates and soft-drink are hidden behind the laundry door.
      Safely stored in the one room they never explore.
      My cheeky treats are my essential mummy meltdown cure”

  40. Sharni Montgomery says:

    I told my son that snickers bars are really spicy. I can now eat them whenever I like without hiding.

  41. scissorspaperrock says:

    Oh, I’m such a lolly-bag-stasher too Beth. We’ve had a busy few months of kids parties, so I now have an awesome collection hidden up in the recipe book cupboard…all for me. {cue evil laugh}

    My 5yr old daughter CAN’T STAND the smell or taste of coffee. Ever since she was tiny, she has hated it {and I’m a big coffee drinker} but whenever I’m eating or drinking something sinister that I DO NOT want to share…..I tell her it has coffee in it. Eating a snickers in the car…..sorry, can’t share, it has coffee in it! Drinking a hot chocolate…sorry Honey….you won’t like it…..it has coffee in it. “Mum, what lolly are you sucking on?” “Oh, just a coffee flavoured one!!”

    Works a treat :)))))

    Claire x

  42. JoCountrylifeexperiment says:

    I love to steal a cheeky spoonful of nutella straigh from the jar. Country Boy gets cranky every time he goes to get some to make nutella biscuits, only to find that his jar is almost empty. Every. Single. Time! oops.

  43. Kylie Gardner says:

    I let my kid believe that dust bunnies are fairies. She was rescuing them and releasing them in the backyard all day!

  44. Sheri Lea says:

    I cheekily sneak veggies in my 2.5yo smoothies, like cheeky pumpkin in the banana smoothie. ‘Delicious!’ She replies after first sip (whoohoo!)

  45. Don’t go a’lookin under my kitchen sink… Along with detergent it’s not uncommon to find a coke, iced coffee or bag of lollies!!
    Oh, & I can totes smash a large block of chocolate between the supermarket & home! Ha!

  46. I stashed half a box of Smarties down my bra to “portion control” (hoard my share) from the toddler. I forgot they were there and when I went to take a shower, I took off my shirt and bra to find a smooshed box and chocolate covered rainbow breasts. Unfortunately, my neck did not stretch far enough to lick the chocolate off my cheekies!

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