I used to work in an office. Not just any office, a financial planning office. I was the Practice Manager and my job consisted of working my arse off, managing the team, dealing with clients, preparing reports, ordering the supplies, buying the milk, getting clients mortgages, taking out the rubbish and a whole lot more stuff in between. It was a good job, I enjoyed it, and I worked my guts out and I know I was a good employee. I then worked in a big bank in the city, doing Executive assisting work for various General Managers there. Same sort of thing – working hard (though not quite as hard as I did before that), reports, excel spreadsheets, clients, so many meetings, diary management, travel.
God, it seems like a life time ago.
There were times when I was in that last job when I was dreaming about a different life. A new life for me. For Rob and I and for our girls. Everything just seemed so fucking hard – the living life in the city. The rushing around. The dropping miserable kids off to daycare. The being in a job that while good, didn’t really fulfil me in any way. The running somewhere, all the time, but actually going nowhere. Me, Rob, all of us, it just wasn’t working. For any of us.
I wrote a paragraph on a post almost 3 years ago now:
“Somehow, it just doesn’t feel right anymore. For me. For us (I think?). Maybe? What if we look at what we have. The flexibility of Rob’s work and use that to our advantage. Really look at life. At the one chance we have at it and make it something amazing. Not suburban. Not everyday but AMAZING. Imagine loving,really loving where you live. Loving what you do. Loving how you spend time, who you spend it with, because you chose it. Not because it was the ‘right’ thing to do?”
I still can’t believe that we actually did it. Plucked up the courage, said “fuck it” and actually did it. I am not so naive to think that this is something that everyone can do – we were it in financially secure position, had the flexibility of Rob’s work etc, but I think that for many of us, those excuses we come up for why it wouldn’t work, are just fears getting in the way of a life that could be, truly something. Or something more. We knew NO ONE. We completely started over. And look at us now. We ARE loving where we live. I can’t imagine being anywhere else. I LOVE what I do and how I spend my time. It’s crazy and busy and hectic but it’s just so bloody good. You know?
Today we’ll all get up, rush to the fire and check that there are enough coals to keep it going for the day. I will drive up to Sydney, as I will do once a week now, to film a small segment on a new TV show. Rob will put some finishing touches on a new project he has been working really hard on that he is feeling great about. Daisy will go to School, learn some more stuff, hang out with her lovely friends across so many ages and be confident and happy. Harper will go to Preschool and have a wonderful day, playing with friends, learning, painting, slowly ever more confident. We’ll come home and we’ll eat together as a family, as we are blessed to do every day. We’ll have some friends come over after that, share some drinks, have a laugh and watch the soccer and probably stay up later then we should. Then we’ll rush to bed, dive under those layers of warmth, touching our toes on the hot water bottles until sleep comes. And in my heart, I will be happy. Truly happy and grateful for all that we have been lucky enough to be given, what we have been able to create for ourselves, take risks on, say WHY NOT to and who knows but WHO CARES! Look back at this life that we have made for ALL of us. For our family.
I used to work in an office.
I used to live in the city.
I wonder what else I’ll be able to say I used to do.
Whatever you think you can’t do, I bet you can. I just bet you can.