On growing up and letting go

It’s been a funny kind of week here at our place. It’s been holidays and yet I haven’t worked as hard in a long time. We should have be lounging around, and yet it’s been 5.30am starts each day and out the door for swimming at 9am. There have been old issues rehashed, revisiting old wounds and pushing my boundaries learning new stuff. I’m quite exhausted to be honest.

The last 3 days we had one of Daisy’s cousins come and stay. She’s 7, and quite simply perfect in the way that all 7 year old girls are. Well, it’s her second cousin to be precise, but we’ll take it. It’s been the first time Daisy has ever had someone come and stay over by themselves. We have had plenty of sleepovers, but parents are always near by, so this was a big step for our little girl in growing up. She had to entertain her. Show her stuff. Not fight with her. Not have tantrums over the stuff she normally would. And she stepped up. Staying up waaay later than she normally would. Pretending that things that would normally bother her, didn’t. Watching shows she wouldn’t normally watch. I swear she just GREW these past few days.

I spoke to my beautiful friend, Neighbour this afternoon. She went and saw Tinkerbell with her daughter this afternoon and she was saying that she shed a tear at the end of the movie. She knew that she wouldn’t want to see these kind of movies anymore. That she was getting too big for them. She knew from looking around and seeing all these little girls there instead. I SO knew what she meant.

My girl. She’s getting bigger.

And while it’s exciting and wonderful it’s frightening. I don’t want to let her go. I don’t want her to worry. Or have to be anything. I don’t want her to ever be scared to walk down a road at night. And yet I want her to know all she needs to know about the world.

Somehow I think all those sleep dramas and tantrums were just a mere appetiser for for the worries I’m about to have…Right now though, I’ll take her requests to watch Big Time Rush, listen to her sing songs I don’t even know and maybe let her have her own sleep over next holidays.

Maybe.

Comments

  1. So bittersweet this growing up caper isn’t it? Bebito is about to start preschool/kindy properly and I can feel him growing up with every inch of me. It’s wonderful and precious but also really a bit sad. I’ll be a pathetic mess when it’s Little Lion’s turn as I know it’ll be the last time we go through that. I love that your gorgeous girl did the “host” thing in a way that you would too cos these things are definitely learned behaviours. x

  2. I am desperately trying to avoid my girls growing up too. It is so hard because you only just get used to them being one way and then they go and change again. I think the first year of school really stretches them too.

  3. Oh Beth treasure every single minute as these beautiful innocent carefree years go by way too fast.
    I was a stay at home mum and soaked up all the treasured moments but didnt really believe anyone when they told me it will all pass in the blink of an eye.My girl is now 18 and I cant tell you how much I miss all those precious times.
    You are already doing a beautiful job and know that it is understandable that though you find it all new and wonderful she is getting bigger, it is natural to find it frightening.
    Keep doing what you are doing and know the bonds you are forming may change but will only strengthen with time and your warm mama love.xx

  4. This was very sweet Beth. It’s so wonderful to see these little ones grow and change and blossom, but gosh, what I would pay just to be able to pause time, even just for a moment. x

  5. you are one amazing mama, and i hope that if i’m ever a mama, i will be able to draw on the same kind of strength and wisdom. lately, here in melbs, we’ve been horribly reminded that not everyone is as nice as we’d like to think, and that even neighbourhoods in your own backyard aren’t quite what they seem to be…it’s all i can think about. but this post reminds me that life can be tough, in the best kind of way. thank you.

  6. I’ve found these holidays a bit hard as well. I feel exhausted and the kids are really pushing the boundaries, but I’m determined to enjoy these holidays with them. I can’t believe my sons 3/4 through kindergarten already. He doesn’t even want to watch ABC2 anymore! I read a quote a while back,
    ‘ little children give you a headache, big children give you a heartache’- so much truth in that!

  7. It’s ok, they grow up and they get better, my little girl is now a big 14 and I adore her x

  8. Touching post Beth. Sometimes I feel like they’re shooting stars, just out of our reach. Then they chuck a tantrum and they’re back to my annoying but loveable kids. Enjoy every moment.

  9. Beautiful post Beth. I’m going through the same, but different, thing with my 12 year old. I can feel, see & hear him pulling away from me. It’s sooooooo hard & it hurts so much & I wish it would stop. I can still see his 4 year old face & feel his 4 year old hand in mine…,it makes me teary just thinking about how little he was then, how he loved being with me & how now we spend most of our time arguing & me asking questions trying to find a way into his life but getting nothing but grunts, shoulder shrugs or I don’t knows. Time goes way too fast. If you find a way to slow it down key me know ok ?

  10. My teeny tiny new born is somehow 18 months old and I want to press a button and stop time! How can it all have gone so fast?

    He will be my only child, so I want to selfishly savour his gorgeous baby-ness forever. I’ve had such a dream run with him that his teen years will surely be dreaders.s

    Your sleep challenged child needs to live with hardcore insomniacs. Send her to me and you can have my 12 hour a night 4 hours sleep a day toddler. We’ll try a week and re-assess after that.

    Happy weekend to you, and just shove those irritations to the back of your mind and keep them there by sheer force of will.

    Yours in sickness, FF x

  11. As Coldplay said “nobody said it was easy” .

    I’ve noticed the changes in Jake as he goes thru his 1st year of “big” school.

    Some good – others, not so much.

    I’ll get there.

    Love
    Gan x

  12. im hearing you i have a 7 nearly 8yold and a nearly 6 yold. I think we saw our last shopping centre stage play of Postman Pat the other day at Noosa. I also think its safe to say the little red car has departed the garage and aint coming back. I shudder when i hear ‘one direction’ and snicker to myself that at least I have conned them into doing irish dancing ! aha ! I nickname my youngest pickle because i have told her from age 3 that i am going to keep her as she is in a pickle jar NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO she tells me i have to grow mummy

  13. NO! Don’t let her grow up! It goes so fast. Hold on to the last of those sweet baby girl moments…. Sigh

    http://iliska-dreams.blogspot.com.au/

  14. I’m 34 and still a little girl in the eyes of my Father.
    It would be lovely to keep them under your wing forever but they soon want to fly (ha see what I did there?!)
    We just have to hope that we have prepared them enough for that big wide world out there. I know that if I at least do as well as my parents did then I know that they have a good start . I turned out alright so they must have been on the right track. The rest is up to them.

  15. Jaysus Beth! what have you done to me! I’m a mess. My baby boy turned 15 this morning and as I was cooking his favourite pancakes for breakfast I was holding back the tears – but they’ve arrived with a vengenance now. Hubby as taken him out to the driving range, so I can sob in peace, because that is so uncool and TITF. Meanwhile my baby girl who turned 9 last week, now is out in the neighbourhood solo, calling on friends to play with. Most days I’m OK with all this, but sometimes I look back and think it was all so much simpler when they were babies. I too am hanging onto the dancing and constant chatter in the kitchen, spontaneous bursts into song and the hugs at bedtime. That’s all in the past with my 15 year old. Have a super weekend Beth.
    Carmel
    x

  16. Hi Beth :-) I know EXACTLY how you feel! My two boys are the same ages as your girls. I too often think about how fast they are growing up, and it saddens me as I want them to stay my little babies forever. They are so independent, my six year old now sometimes doesn’t want to hold my hand into school because it’s ‘not cool’, lol. It’s inevitable though unfortunately, but it does fly by so fast so we have to treasure it while we can! xx

  17. I can understand this completely, without even having a daughter, I totally understand that kind of worry for your lovely girl. It’s a tough world out there for us gals… but your girls are so blessed with the family they’re a part of, I have no doubt they’ll always thrive and be just fine xo

  18. How did I miss this post? Anyhow, you never have to let her go, she’ll always be there in your heart, the memories will never fade only grow stronger the older she gets. It is beautiful. Our oldest is 14, and though I only knew her from 5 (she’s my step daughter), the journey of watching her grow has been truly amazing.

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