I can’t live, if living is without you

I must be getting my period because yesterday I was scratching around the pantry searching for anything sweet. The kids lolly bag scraps only yielded shitty little sherbet odds and ends and the biscuits left in the biscuit jar were the bottom of the barrel orange creams that NO ONE likes. Well, I don’t think so anyway. I then wished, prayed, lamented, and then cursed the world that there was no jar of Nutella in my cupboard. Or chocolate custard in my fridge. Paul’s double thick chocolate custard to be more precise.

But there’s a reason there’s no Nutella. Or custard. If there is, I just eat them all. The lot. To myself. I’ll make excuses to go to the kitchen, take a spoon from the drawer and just plain scoop out teaspoons of Nutella and shovel them into my mouth. One after the other. Until I stop. And then somehow find myself back there a little while later, doing the same thing.

When I was pregnant with Harper I was rolling a significant amount of custard. I was drinking it straight out of the carton, sculling it in fact, like milk. Oh, and I was drinking milk too. Preferably of the strawberry Moove kind. But the custard, dear GOD the custard, sometimes I would drink a litre a day, and those thicker Paul’s ones, well, I would eat them with a spoon, straight out of the carton like it was nobodies business. Then I would see I was getting to the bottom of the carton, worried that Rob would know I had eaten the entire thing, and go for the lot, purchase another, and then eat down to the level I was at before it started. Yuh HUH.

So it appears that I have control issues with food. Well, with my trigger food. Custard and Nutella. So they don’t live in my house. I look at them, stroke them even in a supermarket, and then move on. Because I have to. But there’s other foods that I allow, that I feel passionately about, that are no good for me.

Namely Lurpak and Maldon salt. I won’t give them up. Not ever. You can’t make me.

So, tell me, what’s your trigger food? Do you allow it into your house ever? Even for a special treat? Or when pregnant?

You will note that my passion for mock cream is not included. That’s because it is a staple. Clearly.

I also wrote about my love of lolly bags as “me time” earlier this week over at the Cenovis website if you’re keen…

Comments

  1. Tim Tams. I can knock off a packet in a session. And nutella – don’t get me started!! I would buy it and hide it at the back of the cupboard so hubby wouldn’t know it was there and therefore also not know that I would eat an entire jar in one sitting.

    Also have been known to do secret runs through fast food joints for salt cravings.

  2. There is no way Maldon or Lurpak are bad for you. Who told you that????

    When I was pregnant I used to eat a lot of croissants.

    I’ve noticed that there have been significant amounts of comfort eating and comfort shopping in my own and my friend’s lives lately.

    I blame job insecurity.

    Happy Friday x

  3. Anything with chocolate is highly dangerous for me. It would be great not to have it in the house, but then what would I bribe the kids with?? I actually wrote my own post about nutella – I’ll send it to you! x

  4. I have read your blog for well over a year and never commented – funny that your nutella comment has triggered a response!! Just last week I was in the supermarket with my 5 year old daughter and she asked for some nutella – something I avoid because I can’t help myself and I have to eat it out the jar. I got the smallest jar available and so far I have been pretty good. I do have a spoonful when I am making her toast though…a major amount of self control is needed. I love your blog – thanks Beth.

  5. Orange cream biscuits are YUCK.

    Mint Slices are my trigger food. Or any kind of homemade baked good, which is a shame since I spend so much time baking. Last year I ended up having to ban myself from baking or even buying flour, simply because I knew it would only lead to a twelve-cookie binge.

    xx

  6. Tim tams, nutella, ice cream- to put mostly in iced coffees for moi, Venetian cookies, scotch fingers dipped in coffee, cashews- shall I stop here! It is hard , so hard to resist those tim tams on sale at under $2 but I have to be so tough in the supermarket, and it’s not only me, my kids have the same issues (those huge jars f nutella just disappear spoon by spoon), so I just don’t have them in the house, and my kids are a fabulous examples of fit not fat! I so envy their trim figures. No way it butter or salt anywhere near as bad for you like sugary stuff!

  7. Hi Beth,
    I am very careful not to obsess over any particular food (having beaten anorexia and bulimia) so I don’t forbid myself anything.
    I now obsess over rearranging pretty things in my house. It keeps my mind busy and my Whittaker’s Coconut Block chocolate intake under control nicely……
    Tania xx

  8. Nutella is a MAJOR weakness. When at work my little afternoon indulgence was a spoonful of nutella on almonds. I purposely don’t buy nutella because I can’t be trusted. I recently bought some to use in some cookies I was baking…. I had to go and buy some more nutella because I had eaten the first jar…with a spoon!!!! Choc chip cookies, mint slice, curly wurly, cherry ripe, mini wagon wheels, monte’s… are all other items I can’t resist if in the house. I used to be so restrained but since being pregnant and having a baby all bets are off!!! Seriously not conducive to loosing those last few kgs of baby weight!!! Jx

  9. Anything chocolate in the house will not last an hour. I just can’t have it in the house at all. AND I don’t share ( like Joey from friends )…….how many times have I been caught out in the kitchen stuffing my face with choc, I hear the pitter patter of children’s feet and panic. All questions are answered with my back to them ( oh the shame ) because they if they see my face, they will know. ” I can smell chocolate mummy “………arghhhhhhhhhh.
    I bloody LOVE your blog xx

    • Hahaha! Been in that exact same situation soo many times myself! Or answered trying not to breathe out so the little darlings can’t sniff me out…they always do though.

  10. Chocolate. Plain and simple. Of ANY kind…I’m even known to go for the cooking variety if desperate. ALWAYS at 4pm, or around 9pm. WHY is that?!

  11. I have never heard of maldon or lurpak?

    My all to myself treat is Mini M&M cookies from Coles. the bonus is, no-one else in the family likes them, so they are mine, all mine, and I don’t even need to hide them!

    xx Karen

    • Karen, I hope we can still be friends. Lurpak is a Danish butter than is EVILY good and Maldon is a type of sea salt…flakes of salty goodness.

    • Real butter and sea salt are actually reeeeally good for you. Don’t believe all the crap about fat and salt being bad for you.depends what type of either you’re eating.

  12. This happens to me when I am due every month! A need for a sugar hit is the tell tale sign, but I am always a sucker for chips, you know the deli rock style! Mmm. Giulia.x

  13. During my recent annual pantry clean ( it was a nervous nesting thing), I found four of those big nutella jars. Some were pristine , some half used. Nobody eats it exceept the 3 yer old. I put it on her sandwiches for kindy so they think she’s woofing down Vegemite and I look like a good mother. My MIL just introduced me to Lurpak and I’ve been going through a packet of Malden a month as a mouthwash on the recommendation of Mrs Pear Tree Cottage. My true danger food is potato salad, the old fashioned kind with bacon and lashings of mayo and sour cream. There’s a hip right there!

  14. Has to be blocks of chocolate. I rationalize eating it in one go by saying what is the point in delaying the calories.

  15. A fellow custard devotee. Just can’t have it in the house. Avoid that aisle at the supermarket as I just can’t trust myself not to weaken and give in. Sad, but true…

  16. I don’t keep packets of chips in the house because one they are open then there is no stopping. I even tried to just have the kids size variety packs but then I just eat 4 or 5 or even six packets at a time. So they just don’t come home with me. And I am just as bad with anything chocalatey. Have even been known to resort to the cooking chocolate in desperate times.

  17. Dairy in all of it’s glorious forms. Chocolate, ice-cream, cheese, even milk (with heaps of chocolate quick in it) and when none of these are available milo straight from the can. Haven’t had a period in over two years, but with pregnancy hormones, and breast feeding hormones I feel as if I have been premenstrual times 100 the whole time. Hence my hovering of all dairy

    http://iliska-dreams.blogspot.com.au/

  18. Ha! I cannot have milk chocolate of any kind in the house. I may or may not have topped up a bag of Freddo’s 3 times. Disgraceful!!

  19. anything that I bake, and I bake alot !! alot.

  20. Peanut butter or good cheese. Sometimes together if it’s a good cheddar. KIng Island brie or something nice from Tasmania is the first thing out of my shopping bag when I get home and it’s sometimes almost gone by the time shopping is unpacked. The old style pickled onions, the little red/green ones used to be another. I could eat them straight from jar but haven’t had any for years.

    If you keep the nutella in the fridge, it’s much harder to get a spoonful out. I found this out when I wanted something and found the nutella in the back of the fridge. I had bought it months before for eldest granddaughter when she stayed with me.

  21. Milo. And cadbury milk choc chips. For ‘cooking’. Lots of comfort eating going on here lately.

  22. bahahaa to rolling a whole container of custard and then eating the replacement custard!!

    maggie beer burnt fig and caramel fucking icecream. do. not. buy. that.

    i ate the whole tub with a teaspoon. the logic is the smaller the spoon the less you are eating! tell me i’m not right ;)

  23. I had to comment on this one BabyMac. I am much the same – if it’s in the house, I go GANGbusters with some foods, as soon as the smalls are in bed, and with no time to breathe.

    Triggers? Ice-cream. In fact, I don’t buy the stuff because I INHALE it all straight from the tub, preferably while sitting on the sofa. I bought a tub two weeks back of some decent vanilla ‘for the kids’. It’s still half full in the freezer, which is good from my usual lack of self control, but I vow to buy a shitty flavour that only the kids will like next time. Just to stop me eating it.

    I am also enjoying baking lately ‘for the kids’. But I now realise I need to stop and get back on the nuts, carrot, celery stick snack train (luckily I like those foods too) or my arse will never forgive me. I’m vain like that.

    And don’t even get me started on Pringles and Malteasers. I can’t buy them either, or any bag of chips for that matter, because both Mr P23 and I turn into a Dyson. Not pretty.

    xx Mrs P23

  24. There was a time when I couldn’t have Nutella in the house. I felt sorry for it actually – attacked at all time of the day or night with spoons, forks, fingers and the odd knife. These days it’s raspberry bullets. I CANNOT have them in the house. They call to me, serenading me with a yummy little eat-me song. They are like sirens. It’s bad….. and so good. xo

    • I ate SO MANY RASPBERRY BULLETS TOO! When pregnant with Harper. In fact, I’d blocked it out until now. How good are they? Those and scorched almonds. SCORCHED ALMONDS!

  25. When the world is against me I prescribe myself an entire block of Blue Castello Cheese, Maggie Beer Pate and a bottle of Shiraz. All consumed whilst sitting in front of the TV watching ABC crime shows. Not sure what effect this magic combo has on the family-but they just seem to know that today is NOT the day to argue with me about ANYTHING…LOL

  26. I was going to say that I have pretty good self control, but no, I don’t.

    Fundraising Freddos. All fifty of them.

    And anything home baked.

    And I used to have Maldon sea salt in my porridge every morning until I ran out.

  27. Um butter is definitely NOT bad for you. In fact you should slather it on as many things as possible and savour every mouthful of it’s yummy goodness.

  28. Oh gosh Nutella and custard are EXACTLY my triggers and are rarely in the house as a result. If they are in the fridge I cannot rest, they sort of call to me like sirens, and I am unable to relax until I have eaten them all out of the container with a spoon. Oh the shame…

  29. dill pickles. Jesus Christ, I hope I’m not pregnant.

  30. I’ve been so desperate lately I’ve been scoffing the kids’ chocolate tiny teddies and le snaks. Kate

  31. when feeling hormonal, depressed or just plain “i need an effing sugar hit” my go-to foods are definitely caramel crownes (i dare you not to roll a pack in a sitting, it’s like eating a twix in biscuit form), cookie dough (raw – eaten without a spoon, just shovelled into my mouth), red rock deli chips(sweet chilli & sour cream) and a good old maccas mcflurry.. the malteaser one is my current fave – wish they’d bring back oreo & m&m though! … i feel i may have a problem, please tell me i don’t!

  32. I so badly want to buy and try those new Philly Cream Cheese Frosting and the Choc ones but I wont because I know I will just eat the damn lot.

  33. p.s – When I was pregnant all 3 times I could not get enough of the Reeses PB Cups. I love those little bastards.

  34. I just ate a whole truckload of milk arrowroot bikkies smeared with salted butter. Another of my weaknesses.

  35. Oh I hate orange creams, along with the orange flavour in the Cadbury Snack chocolate bars. This post made me laugh lady. I have a whole host of trigger foods & it ain’t pretty. Natural confectionery lollie’s, cheese & jatz (together or solo), bloody BBQ Shapes, icecream & those little Viennese shortbread fingers with the jam in the centre & chocolate on the outside. Aaaarrrrggghhh it’s a minefield in my kitchen xo

  36. freddo frogs…. the ‘party’ bags. It’s a one woman party. EVERY TIME!

  37. Orange creams… I can’t stand them either. But if I’m desperate… I will totally go there!

  38. Cheese, french bread, Maggie Beer’s onion Marmalade and some salami. And some champagne.

    Orange creams? No thank you!

  39. Ok, thought of something else. BBQ Shapes and Chicken Twisties. I will be back later.

  40. It’s so interesting to hear that ‘normal’ women have these difficulties. I had bulimia throughout my teens and after treatment ad finitum find myself now about 30 kilos overweight with problem foods: chocolate, icecream, pastries, bacon, potatoes butter. Notice the absence of salad and broccoli ;) thanks for sharing :)

  41. An extra 5kg has found its way onto my tummy and thighs over winter. I blame custard and chocolate and my partner giving me serving sizes that are too big but also too delicious not to eat.

    So now all things dessert are relegated to the shelf of the fridge that I pretend isn’t there so that he can eat them – damn him and his fantastic metabolism. But I did just find some 99% fat free custard which tastes ok (although not as good as the really thick Pauls stuff) which is my last resort food as I attempt to get rid of this weight before Christmas.

    But my worst trigger food is chips. Hot chips or crisps, once they are in range I eat them all. Thus they are never allowed in the house.

  42. Up until 3 weeks ago I was treating myself to a spoon of Nutella chased by a spoon of peanut butter! Now that my beautiful boy is born(he’ll be 3 weeks old tomorrow!), the thought of it makes me wan to spew!

  43. Ha ha, I am currently reading your blog from the get go. And am up to your post about having Harper, so am familiar with your love of all things custard!

    I have LOTS of trigger foods, and in my current frazzled state of Mumminess I allow ALL of them, eff it, I don’t care if I pile on the kilos, I don’t smoke and rarely drink because if I started I wouldn’t stop, so throw all things chocolatey and savoury at me and I WILL EAT!!

  44. Thank you Beth for making me feel normal. I beg my husband to hide the chocolate he generally brings home from the airport after a business trip. But his hiding places are not very good and I always manage to sniff it out as the desperation levels rise. I too have had to re-buy and then eat down to the level to hide the fact I’d nailed the whole container single handedly. I think I’ve done that twice – once with a tub of strawberry ice cream and I can’t remember what the other thing was – but they had sold out on my re-buy trip so I had to take the shame! Jars of nutella vacuumed in a day generally twice a year….”this time, I will only have a teaspoon a day and really make it last” YEAH RIGHT!!

  45. You & Tim would get along great- he can roll a carton of custard with the best of them! Come Christmas time its custard & Lions Club Christmas Cake- they are like crack to him!

    I have too, too many food triggers to even begin. I try & buy chocolates or biscuts in flavours I hate so I’m not tempted to eat them but them I thought “Oh I’ll just try the oreos, see if I like them”. BIG. MISTAKE. Now my kids cant have oreos…..

    The only thing that I really refuse to have in the house right now is Coke-a-cola, in a can, not a bottle. That shit is like liquid cocain to me.It should not be legal, at least for me. So far I am 3 weeks Coke free but the cravings are still there!!!!!!

  46. Ah Beth, Nutella by the spoon is such a special secret squirrel sumptuous delight, but very naughty too! I have just moved into my dream house, and now have a walk in pantry with a sliding door that shuts behind you…very dangerous, but the perfect place to hide from the kids where I may, or may not, need to devour a spoon or two of Nutella. Saying that, there is none there right now, otherwise, I would spend my life in that pantry!

  47. I was chocolate milk freak when preggers with my first.

    but now, any foods really. except nutella. yeah I’m weird. My kids love it, I don’t. It’s safe in the cupboard.

    but everything else is fair game. at the moment my big one is beetroot dip and laughing cow cheese. not together mind you! I can knock off a tub of beetroot dip in one sitting easy peasy.

  48. Have you seen the new tempting eat-in-one-hit sized tubs of Connoisseur ice cream? Murray River Salted Caramel with chocolate coated hazelnuts …

  49. Really any ice cream.
    But my favourite is Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
    The tub says it should be four serves.
    I force myself to eat in it two sittings.
    Okay.
    Fine.
    Sometimes I eat it all in one sitting.
    But if I didn’t eat it all in one sitting then I would have to share!

  50. That is a song you quoted that was sung my Andy Williams who you may or may not have heard of it. It was always a favourite of mine. Strangely enough I am fortunate enough never to have had cravings for any particular food….I just love ‘em all but hate being limited these days ‘cos of diabetes. Just enjoy whatever you fancy but everything in moderation I guess is the rule.

  51. Anything chocolate. Even the compound cooking chocolate which tastes like crap isn’t safe.
    Oh and Camembert cheese. It never sees the end of the day that it is brought home in – and that is an expensive fetish!

  52. Can’t have ice cream in the house, because I’ll just eat it all. Oh, and milo.
    But my pregnancy ( and breast feeding) craving was peanut butter- from the jar, by the spoonful. I went through a jar a week.

  53. MILO. Can never buy it. Except………as soon as I see two lines on the pregnancy test, I buy the really huge tin of the stuff!!! I then SHOVEL it straight into a two litre carton of full-cream milk. Seriously. Then drink THE LOT IN ONE SITTING. And once a month I crave a chocolate moove and a finger bun.

  54. I can’t have anything like that in the house, otherwise its gone. I have no self control whatsoever and have even resorted to eating the cooking chocolate at times. oh the shame.

  55. Hi Bethy, My advise to you (yes, sure you asked for it) is to go to the supermarket and buy the biggest barge ass jar of Nutella you can get your hands on, bring it home and roll the lot, then get your hands on a copy of David Gillespie’s book “Sweet Poison” and I DARE YOU to ever be able to think about sugar the same way ever again…..

  56. Anything sweet and tasty and bad for you, they are all my trigger foods. So for the most part they don’t find their way into my pantry. When I bake I try my darndest to give most it away otherwise I will just eat it all.

    I won’t give up salt or butter either though. At least not til my GP makes me! x

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