I know I’m not the perfect Mother, I’m actually far from it. I feed my children dinner, sometimes, on the floor, right in front of the TV so they can keep watching whatever they are watching and stay quiet. I’ll even put down a tea towel to contain the mess, because I’m lazy and I don’t want to have to clean it up later. I’ll sometimes not bath them, because they are too tired and I can’t be bothered. I hide lolly bags given to them at Birthday parties and then eat them all to myself, as I hide in the pantry from them. I lie to them. Often. Because I can.
It’s like payment. For all the wiped bottoms, picking chunks of vomit out of sheets, dealing with fights every bloody time I brush or wash their hair, putting out fights every 3.4 seconds between them, picking stuff up from the car floor for the 456th time whilst driving, listening to Fairies songs and having to endure Nathan from High Five on constant DVD repeat. It’s a tough gig at times – no doubts about it.
Of course there are the amazing bits, don’t get me wrong! The beautiful offerings of artwork, or flowers presented to me throughout the day. The cuddles and pure, simple love that asks for nothing. No conditions. Just love. Although the conditions and hours can be long and tiring, and don’t get me started on the terrible pay, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
But. There’s always a but isn’t there?
Of ALL the parts, the one thing that breaks my spirit , the very one thing that drives me absolutely CRAY CRAY crazy and sucks me of my parenting will to live, my kryptonite, if you will…is my child’s cough. Any one of them. Any cough – dry, chesty, tickly, and worst of all of the coughs…the dreaded cough vomit – but a cough will see me raveled undone. See? I told you I was terrible. How can something as simple as a common cough do all that? Here’s how:
I first learnt of this condition early on when Daisy caught her first proper toddler cold from daycare. Thanks Daycare! I was initially caring and loving. A veritable Florence Nightingale tending to her every need and desire at just the right moments. A wet washer to bring down a fever. A rubbing of a back. A wiping of a nose. A gentle and loving stroke of a cheek. I was a model parent! Until….she coughed. Which was fine. And then 5.2 seconds later, she coughed again. The poor poppet – seemed to have a little cough, until she coughed again. And then AGAIN. AND THEN AGAIN. It sent me crackers. After 35 minutes I may or may not have begged her to stop. After an hour of waiting for her sleep but being unable to because of said 3.4 second cough I may or may not have SCREECHED at her to “STOP COUGHING ALREADY!” And there wasn’t anything really wrong with her, just a little cough, a tickle and yet the constant stream of coughs? Well, they all made up to one frazzled Mama. Of course I felt terrible and guilty and all those things, but a constant cough will do that to an overtired working Mother. It just will.
My second born is lucky enough to be blessed with some serious gag reflexes. Some of you out there will know of the condition whereby your child will cough, and that cough will lead to a vomit. It’s the classic cough/vomit scenario. And this? Well, this undoes me even sooner than the dry 3.4 second cough that my first born delivers me with. It’s like a train wreck. You can’t stop watching, you know what’s coming, and it sends you into a spin as you try and catch that vomit in the best way you can. It’s never pretty. NEVER. And it adds another dimension to a regular cold that it just UNCALLED FOR. Enough already.
Are you like this? Tell me I’m not alone. Tell me I’m not THAT bad. Do you find coughs just as irritating? Do you have a cough vomiter in your house? I feel for you. I really do.
Now for some fun. Share with me your best “Cough Catastrophe” story in the comments below – a particularly bad cough/vomit, an irritating dry cough or a tickle that was SO not funny for a chance to win one of four $50 iTunes vouchers!
For more information about Bisolvon products visit www.bisolvon.com.au or speak with your local pharmacist, doctor or nurse practitioner. Always read the label. Use only as directed. If symptoms persist, see your healthcare professional.
Terms and Conditions
Giveaway open to Australian residents only Employees or family of the Promoter are not eligible to enter Entries close October 8th 2012 winners will be selected on the strength of their answers (game of skill) and no correspondence will be entered into Winners will be notified by email.