One of the most asked questions I get, besides “how can one person be so awesome?” ahem, is about my floors. And what I clean them with. And other such cleaning questions. RIVETING! I know. I am actually that interesting! So today I thought I would tackle house work. Now, if housework makes you bored and woozy and BORED, then I suggest that this post will too, so tune in again tomorrow for something more to your liking like some hellebore’s in a jug, or how to make pesto!
I am a fortnightly thorough house clean kind of gal. I DETEST cleaning bathrooms as no joy can come from scraping poo from a toilet bowl or picking pubes off the floor no matter how sunny a person you are, so sometimes my bathroom will go for longer without being cleaned. I will always vac & mop the floors (in the fortnightly clean) but the actual cleaning of surfaces with jiff can go longer. My house clean ritual looks a little like this:
1. Empty all bins in the house. These include bathrooms/bedroom/desk wastepaper bins and kitchen bin.
2. Thorough dusting of MOST surfaces in the house. When I need to dust is HAS to be a hot, wet cloth. It’s the ONLY way, in my humble OCD opinion, that the dust can be removed. I dust things like book cases, shelves, mantle pieces, tables, photo frames, bedside tables – actually when I look at it like that – every MOFO surface in my house. I also think that in doing this first it whacks all the dust that is everywhere onto the floor just in time for you to come and vacuum it up. Which brings us to Step 3…
3. Vacuum all floors – carpeted and hard and bathroom too. I have a Dyson which I love and consider another member of the family. She sucks, in a good way, and never lets me down. I know you should probably change a setting on her as you move between different areas, but I cannot be bothered with that so it stays on the one setting and sucks up everything in her path. Bless her.
4. Mop ALL the floors. I have a flat mop thingy with a detachable/velcro pad thing (SO CLEAR right?) that does the trick. You can throw them in the wash afterwards too. I don’t know the best mixture for washing floors, because I am no expert, so I just use hot, hot, HOT water with washing up detergent. The good cheap kind from Aldi too. We have a REALLY big room so while I love the end result, I still find the mopping part sucks. But the working up a sweat in this section will make the cup of tea you can have in 15 minutes all the better.
If I was inclined to clean the bathrooms thoroughly I would do that in between steps 2 and 3. The kitchen doesn’t get much of a clean because I am always in there and seem to do it as I go. I am terrible and never do things like clean cupboards. Or ovens. That’s for when you move. Actually, I’m not all that OCDS am I?
So what do I do with my 2 year old I hear you ask? Well, I do what ANY normal person would do. I plonk her in front of the TV and then when it comes to the mopping section come up with a fabulously interesting game that involves rugs, that are Islands, and the mopped floors, which are lava. This usually works for 3.4 seconds and I can then recommence my normal screeching at her. Tea is then made, a gloating Instagram shot that involves mopped floors taken, and about 3 minutes later the mess starts all over again. I think the whole process is known as “insanity” – you know, the doing something over and over and expecting a different result. That, or having small children.
So, tell me….
What have I missed out?
Where have I gone wrong?
What is the best mixture for washing floors?
Are you like Neighbour and clean skirting boards?
What IS the worst part of cleaning for you?
Is this the most boring blog post that ever existed, in like, ever? Actually, don’t answer that.