I’m not a very patient person. I am unable to sit and just do nothing. Only if everything has been done, then I can sit down and so nothing. I like plans, I like things to look forward to. You can imagine how well I am coping at the moment with the way things are. I’m feeling better, but not all better, and I’m getting frustrated that things are still not right which is ridiculous given I had surgery about 7 minutes ago. I’m annoyed that our holiday plans didn’t work out and that I’m not in Melbourne right now. Most of all I’m feeling so sorry for my poor brother in law and sister.
They are still stuck in hospital (day 10 but who’s counting right?). Just when things go forward there seems to be a set back. He is stuck in St Vincents hospital which is a big inner city hospital in Sydney. It’s the place that people in the city are sent to and seems to house quite a population of homeless people, mentally ill people, old people, lonely people. He is in a ward and has shared it with quite a motley crew. A young man who was recovering from surgery of some kind who watched shoot em up American movies LOUD. Really loudly. So loudly that you couldn’t believe it would even be allowed. Someone else who coughed up phlegm the entire time. In between complaining and swearing that he hasn’t had any pot for days swearing and shouting. An old woman who calls out “Help me, please, someone help me” every 15- 30 seconds, asking for help to the toilet, or for someone to hold her hand. It’s very frustrating and certainly depressing circumstances when you are already feeling like shit with a head injury. When all you want is some peace. And darkness. And time so you can heal. There are memory tests each day, and if one thing is missed, then it’s back to the start as he has to get them correct for 3 days in a row before they can even think about letting him out. Yesterday there was a new test – counting backwards from 200 in SEVENS for God’s sake. He failed, of course he failed, I would get to 193 and then be screwed and I suggest most people would too. Each day the same. No end in sight. Doctors that stop in for a moment and nurses that need constant chasing for medication. I don’t know how they coping with it all. The sheer mental exercise of staying sane when you already feel so poorly. My sister’s life is on hold. All day in the hospital trying to be positive and just company, then home again to my Mum’s empty house. Then to do it all over again. The same compliants from different people, the same ward, the same over tired and cranky nurses. Urgh…the whole thing just makes me sad and sick with worry.
Hopefully in the next few days there is some more progress. I suppose when people are in really tough places you just dig deep and suck it up and get on with it because there’s nothing else to do is there? I’m not someone who prays but gee I’d like for things to get better for them. They need a break. They need something to be good for a change. They need something to look forward to. An out date. To get home. And shower in their shower, sleep in their own beds and move forward.
What do you do when things are shithouse? Got any advice?
I know this seems like a whiny first world problem post and that’s because it is. Of course I am grateful that we live somewhere that care is available for all people – that hospitals and doctors and nurses are there for anyone – and that they are helping my family (and me) but I just wish that things were different. You know?