She’s a rich girl

The next couple of days are going to be all about excess. It’s a holiday to celebrate, a long weekend to enjoy with friends and family and people that we love. There will be meals lovingly prepared and eaten, cups filled to the brim, and generally any requests (and more) from my kids fulfilled. There will be full bellies and too much chocolate – so much chocolate that a year later my pantry still has the chocolate bunnies and eggs in it from last year. It’s quite the business isn’t it, being so lucky?

I know how blessed I am. I know it. In every cell in my body. I live in a beautiful house, bigger than we need, filled with pretty stuff I have bought. We have money in the bank, cars in the driveway, we can buy most things we want and need and I am fatter than I need to be because I can be. My children are well, and educated. They know how to charge an iphone to make sure they can load up their favourite apps. They know how to put a movie on, to go to the fridge and grab a drink, an apple in the fruit bowl on the bench. They know they are safe, and loved. I don’t have to work, I have the luxury of staying at home with my baby, ignoring her while I write on the internet lamenting over the fact that my precious sleep was interrupted and how on EARTH can I cope with that fact? I am fat. I am white. I’m a rich girl. I am privileged and I am so fucking lucky. 
While I do forget this from time to time, because well, life gets in the way doesn’t it, I do try to teach my kids about that fact and often. While we teach and guide them to be kind people, patient and loving we also remind them of how lucky we are – how we have so much, all the time, and others don’t and yes, it’s not fair is it? We sponsor a kid through World Vision as we have done before we had our own kids. Because it made us feel good sure, but because it was something we could do, and we could do it. For 9 years now we’ve watched this little 3 year old kid turn into what appears to be this big man now, even though he is just 11 or 12. Rob makes the girls watch clips on Youtube of things happening in the world that they don’t know about – floods in Pakistan, hunger famines in Africa, hurricanes in America – he is the smartest person I know and the girls are so lucky to have him as their father teaching and opening their eyes up as they grow. We teach our kids that girls can do anything that they want to do, that there is no difference between their Aunt & Uncle being in bed together than their Uncle and Uncle. That boys can wear dresses and makeup if they want, or boots and coats. That some people have a Mum and a Dad, some two Dad’s, some two Mum’s. Some one only and some sadly, none at all. Good stuff happens to good AND bad people and bad stuff happens to anyone, anywhere, just because. Life is complicated, the world is complex. It’s Rob and my duty to teach them everything, to open their eyes up and their hearts up to difference and acceptance. It doesn’t make us heroes, or any better than the next person, but I believe it comes with the privilege we have. Ignorance makes arseholes, spoilt brats that don’t know any better. That’s not OK with me. By us.
I have been reading Eden’s trip over to Niger this week with my heart in my throat. I’ve been clutching my metaphorical pearls from the comfort of my lounge room while my overweight arse sits on a fucking replica Eames chair. Of course I think she’s amazing because she is my friend, and I love her, but I think what she is doing is a little amazing. Sure people might not think another privileged white women telling other privileged white women isn’t making any difference, but it just might be too right? Some awareness amongst people who have huge power in social media, pushing the mainstream to tell a story that just won’t sell. Helping out with small donations that will make a difference, sponsoring a child here and there to the projects run by World Vision. 
I don’t really know how to help to make a difference for this current plight. I’ll do what I normally do I suppose. I’ll make a donation because I can. And because I should. I’ll write a blog post about it. I’ll re tweet Eden’s posts as they come through. I’ll make sure as shit that instead of eating too much chocolate this weekend that I’ll use some of that coin to give to some children that can’t even get clean water. I’ll talk to my kids about it, make their dinner like I always do and hope that they eat it all. I’ll go about my life and try and remember that there are so many people out there, so many, who are strong and funny and loving, just like me, that have things far worse than I’ll ever know in my lifetime and try to make a wee difference to their lives, because I can.

Sponsor a child

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18254275544017629129 bigwords is…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13272090974052486539 Mrs Woog

    Amen. Wonderful post. I have felt this all week as well. x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18254275544017629129 bigwords is…

    sorry about the deleted comment – bad, bad grammar and spelling. What I meant to say was – you may be a fat, rich, white girl, but you have a wonderfully kind heart. Glad to know you xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07904149532945004564 Leanne @ Uber Simplicity

    Beautiful xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18133173713045801244 vancybec

    and once again, the macdonald family makes me cry at my desk. cos you are right, more than you know, you are right.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06483003532396329746 rex

    This is a very beautiful post and I just adore your honesty here. Loving your comments on Edens post too.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17315306897011205854 Miss Mandy

    Oh Beth I think you have seriously summed it up perfectly. It has been on my mind every day since too. We can all do something.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12137190564912696355 Jess WhoaMamma

    Yes! Yes! Yes! x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15709892778460619439 ClaireyHewitt

    We can all make a difference everyday, even us fat white women, we can do great stuff. But confirming we have enough like you have done can often be the hardest part. Buying fair-trade choc this year was nearly impossible, but if I am going to buy stuff I want it to be a sensible purchase where I can.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393571810604343918 Veggie Mama

      Funnily enough, Myer, the mecca of fat, white, rich women has fairtrade easter eggs. I buy them every year from there xo

  • http://keepingupwiththeholsbys.wordpress.com/ Danielle

    Wonderful, and timely post. A great reminder, as we go into a weekend of decadence, that we need to be aware of what else is out there in the world, and indeed, teach our children empathy and understanding and open mindedness.
    You’ve summed it up beautifully. It may seem sometimes we don’t do much, but maybe you don’t need go to Africa (although I’m super jealous of Eden!), maybe it starts with teaching these invaluable lessons to our children so they can live with kindness. It starts in your backyard and spreads it’s arms around the world.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13272090974052486539 Mrs Woog

      Love this! Perfectly put Danielle xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06124224647059797583 kim at allconsuming

    Nailed it. Right there.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t have one of the social media things listed to have a profile so am anon but I just wanted to comment.
    I stumbled upon your blog and enjoy reading about your life but I think this has been your best post yet.
    We do live lives of incredible privilege and it’s only when our circumstances are thrown into sharp relief that we can take stock of just how lucky we are to be born in this place at this time.
    I also wanted to give a shout out to medecins sans frontiers.
    My friend regularly goes to Niger to organise the vaccination programme for the children there (don’t get her started on anti vaxxers)
    She doesn’t do it because of any perceived heroics, she does it because it’s how she wants to practice medicine.
    So if anyone has some spare cash this Easter…
    Keep up the lovely writing and have fun on chocolate day.
    Carolyn.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04165622200849937469 MsMidge

    Here here. I’m with you completely on this.x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00753028071925685075 LINDA from OEKE

    (-:

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10085079211685079914 Milina

    So, so humbling. xo

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393571810604343918 Veggie Mama

    Sometimes I feel paralysed that so much needs doing and I’m not capable of it all. But the best thing to do is something. Like Mrs Woog, I’ve also felt this way all week… us fat white chicks can sacrifice such a little and it can mean such a lot. We are so very, very lucky that we had the good fortune to be born in this country.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05670592821968665461 Maryanne

    What a great read. I agree 100% with the way Rob and yourself are teaching your kids. I wish that there were more parents in this world to teach their children how lucky they are too. As Danielle’s comment put it perfectly “It starts in your backyard and spreads it’s arms around the world.”

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08915960873730826839 Anna @ green tea n toast

    What a great post Beth. I’ve also been following along with Eden’s journey and have been inspired. Your words do put it all in to perspective and you’re right that it is our duty to make sure our children are aware of how lucky they are. Sounds like you and Rob are doing all the right things. x

  • http://blog.scissorspaperrockdesigns.com.au/ Claire Chadwick @ Scissors Paper Rock

    Wonderful post Beth! I could relate so much to your every word about the life we are so lucky to live and the belssings we’re smothered in each & every day. My kids are spoiled in love & materialistic needs. They have everything they need plus a shitload more. I hope they understand that not everyone lives like this. I will always explain & show this to them.
    What Eden is doing is amazing. She’s inspiring so many people to care & take action. She’s a brave, self-less person. You must be proud to have such an inspiring friend. She rocks!
    I was born in Africa….moved here as a toddler. I often wonder what liufe would be like if we stayed. Thank goodness my Mum & Dad took a leap of faith to leave when we did. I went back there {Zimbabwe} when I was 16….holy moly…I know exactly what Eden is seeing & hearing & smelling. It’s insane…and the biggest eye-opening experience one will ever encounter.
    Again, great post Lovely.
    x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00529883736738248832 My Mummy Daze

    Such a great post. I think a lot of us are feeling this one. I want to support Eden so much in this journey. I feel so proud of her – which seems kinda crazy – but I’m just so excited that she can make a difference, and she if we collectively get behind her and WV then we can make a difference too.

  • http://www.whatsarahdidnext.com/ What Sarah Did Next:

    Beautifully put, Beth. I am in awe of what Eden is doing in Niger. I’ve been talking to my boys about it this week too. We are so goddamned lucky to live here with all our privilege and wealth; sometimes it takes a post like this to remind us.

    x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04215161182830545561 Reannon Hope

    Beautiful post.

    I love that you can acknowledge your own privileged life but still have compassion & are caring & kind. That you & Rob want your girls to know more so they can be, or do, more. That is goodness right there…

    So often I see the privileged few forget how good they have it, how easy their life is & how truly blessed they are to live the life they do. Somedays I see it in my oldest son & I get mad & try so hard to make him open his eyes & see the wider world. Some days I succeed & others all he can see is his friends getting the latest game/gadget & he’s not. It’s a battle i’ll never give up on because I don’t want him to forget to count his blessings EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13151973819133926868 Mama of 2 boys

    So wonderfully said lady, a beautiful post. I think the majority of us really want (and try) to make a difference and I guess this kind of solidarity is the only way of making that happen. The blogging world is so super powerful it’s almost scary and how fantastic that it can be used to do good things. Really honest, GOOD things. Thanks for reminding me of these facts xoxo

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16108186912871204986 Snowball Effect

    Amazing Beth! Such a beautiful, well written post. Thank you for reminding me just how lucky I am.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16543791863884733714 Mum on the Run

    Yep. Uh-huh. Yes.
    Brilliant post.
    :-) xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13482654455512269065 •´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´•

    Amazing post Beth -you nailed it too with last paragraph especially.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01684186270132435867 Rhi @ Hummingbird’s Song

    Beth, this is such a wonderful post and it sums up everything I’ve been feeling when reading Eden’s blog this week. Fabulous work x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09890862541890241422 Raine and Sage

    Beth you nailed it. I recall being in the middle of Sth Africa, at 34 weeks pregnant, along with my husband and 17 month old. We had been driving for hours. In the middle of NOWHERE, I see a woman walking along with her baby swaddled to her back, carrying a basket on her head, and god only knows how long she’d been walking for; or where to. CERTAINLY put things in perspective! As does your post so eloquently.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04659789458460830707 Cherie @ ‘a baby called Max’

    Even at my most broke, I have still felt like a rich, fat, white girl when comparing to the third world.

    That you acknowledge your privilege, but spare thought to the not so privileged shows how big & fat your white girl heart really is.

    xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06911678503912496884 Donna

    This post just puts so much into perspective. I spend far too much time and energy worrying about money, keeping to a strict budget when really when I compare it to the children of Niger, I too am a big fat rich white girl. So many blessings right here that need to be shared with the people who need it most

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10917556498615756174 Mrs S

    My Easter Eggs, yet to be eaten, are already making me feel sick. I’m not quite a FAT, white chick. White, yes. Fat, no. But reading Eden’s blog this week had made me feel like Augustus Gloop (Charlie & the Chocolate Factory), hoovering up all my first world privileges with my disgusting sense of entitlement.
    I forget, ALL THE TIME, how lucky I am. Even as the words leave my lips, I’m deflated at the thought of having to cook a healthy, generous meal for my family…again. Incidentaly, I farmed NONE of the ingredients.
    Time to give one’s self an uppercut, me thinks.

    Thanks for the words that mirror my thoughts, Beth.
    And THANK GOD (or whoever) for Eden Riley!

  • Anonymous

    Jesus is the reason for the season.
    peace with God is the only thing that satisfies the soul.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10208633197266540403 Maryandlil

    i somehow missed this post. Fantastic. Loved it. You really said all that needed to be said well. Well done x