Enter post 1169

Yesterday I had the same conversation I’ve had plenty of times before. The one I know that I need to work out the answers to. I’ve had it plenty of times before and yet my wish to punch myself in the face remains the same now as it did the very first time I had it. It goes a little something like this…

“So, you have a blog?”
“Yes, I do.”
“What do you write about?”
{cue punching myself in the face}
“Oh you know, stuff. Stuff about my kids. Stuff about my life. And home. And, ah, stuff.”
“Oh, OK. So how do you make money from it?”
{cue second punch to the face}
“Well, I, ah, don’t. I don’t make a cent.”
Oh. OK.”
{cue person thinking I am a complete moron}

And so on, and so forth. It makes me want to scream out…

“But hang on just one flipping minute! I used to work. I used to earn really good money. I used to be THE money earner in our house. I don’t necessarily want to make money from my blog anyway! I have chosen to not earn money from my blog…”

And so on and so forth. Round and round we go doing my blogging tango.  I’ve been doing it for the past say, 2 years now, since people (besides my family) actually started to read my blog and I actually had an audience. Or something. I remember last year at the Kidspot Top 50 bloggers thingy we went to this really cool underground bar just off Oxford St that was for the hipster hipsters who were all our drinking on a Monday night! Cool! I had the convo with some groovy bar tender guy who was making me a drink  and wanting to know who all the old birds were that had descended on his bar for the night. And saying I wrote about my kids and stuff just made me want to run away and hide all the while screaming “I used to come to cool bars on Monday nights! I USED TO BE RELEVANT YOU HIPSTER FUCKEEEEERRRRSSSS!!!”

I’m not sure exactly why I struggle with this part of blogging so much. I know it gets discussed over and over again and I’m not sure how I can find the answers to my questions and actually feel comfortable with being a blogger. And worse still, being a Mummy blogger. I know it has a lot to do with my own values and perceptions of value as a contributor to our family. I have always been a worky worker since I was 14 years old and the fact that I’m not working at the moment (as wonderful as it is) makes me feel like I am not doing enough of a job. Which is ridiculous. In “theory” I know I am doing the best goddamn job in the world, the most important, and yet? I still feel “in my crazy heart” that things would be better, somehow, if I had money coming into our bank account. I guess that’s why I work so hard on this little space, this blog. Making it the best it can be, working on it diligently day in, day out because I am a worky worker. Not many people I know would work so hard day in day without getting something for it. And of course I do – amazing connections, creativity and friendships and opportunities that I would not normally have sitting in my cubicle office – but there’s no bucks (for me) to be made from it. Yet.

Should that change? Maybe. Will it? Maybe. Maybe not.

I do know that I have an amazing community around me of like minded, smart, funny people surrounding me every day. I know that I get my greatest thrill from blogging when people take a picture of the dinner they are feeding their loved ones and send it to me and it’s one of my recipes. That’s awesome. I love how blogging allows me to stop and enjoy and record the simple moments of pure joy that I have in my life right now – whether they be from my kids, or husband, or cooking a meal, or putting some flowers in a vase, or wearing a new jumper from a fabulous store I have found. I love that. I love the therapy it is for me in my dark times, the release, the knowing that someone else out there might be thinking what I think. That’s all we only ever want as humans isn’t it? A connection. A pat on the back? A knowing nod? I get that too.  All that has to be worth something isn’t it? Of course it does.

Today I got a package in the mail from the classy birds at Hunting For George. I am always babbling on about how cool their stuff is, because it is, not because I am getting anything out of it, other than some cool stuff and a place to send Rob to when it’s my Birthday or Christmas. They wrote me the loveliest card saying how much they appreciate my words – my WORDS – and that it hasn’t gone unnoticed. Now that, big brands, is how to work with bloggers. Not the giving them free stuff, which incidentally they did hello sexy cardigan I am looking at chu, but the knowing what a blog does, and thinking that what they do provides value to them, as a business, because of what they do. My day has been made.

I’m looking forward to the next couple of days to be surrounded by other bloggers. It’s a lonely business this at times so to be able to actually see, and speak with another blogger, well that’s something exciting for someone like me. To be around people who get it, have got it, have made amazing success and who, like me, are still trying to work it all out, I’m hoping to get a little clarity. And direction. And of course just have a laugh and have some fun. And maybe a few answers along the way. At least if you are a blogger, and have a million and one thoughts and questions going round and round your head these next few days, know that I do too. Know that someone that has been doing this for almost 6 years and should know better, still doesn’t have it worked out. Yet.

Comments

  1. I know exactly how you feel… which is why I’m still a worky worker. So independent for so long I don’t feel right “sponging” off my husband even though it’s NORMAL AND I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO. Especially while raising a family. Cannot get it out of my head no matter how hard I try. But I want to!

  2. I am a million shades of green that you got that pom pom coat….I found H4G from your recommendation, and love it! Would never have discovered it otherwise, and that’s what I love as a blog reader, finding cool shit. Have fun in your new pom pom cardi in Melbourne…

  3. I know I should leave a long and involved comment because your post was *all that* but… fuck, how good do your legs look in those skinnies?

    Maybe see you?

    x

  4. I am loving that cardigan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    you’re a gorgeous genuine blogger and the money will come if that is what you want! 6 years of blogging and I only started earning money about 18 months ago! I say no to a lot of freebies but I would not say no to that cardy! that is going to get a lot of wear down there this winter I’m sure!

    I’m not going to DP but have fun:)

    Corrie:)

  5. I just want to say I love reading your very honest blog. I also love it is not covered in advertising!

  6. Your blog is one of the absolute highlights of my day. And yet, I hardly ever leave you comment love. And do you know why? Because I am so bloody intimidated by how good you are at this blogging business. Really. xx

  7. Loved hearing your thoughts on this Beth… Blogging is so hard to define sometimes. And no one in my non-online world knows I blog, as I know they just wouldn’t get it.
    I’m looking forward to the conference and being around some people who “get it”.
    And I LOVE that cardi (and the one in your photo), and completely agree with Bron – your legs look fab in those jeans! xx

  8. I’m not part of the blogging crowd at all, even though I do have one, if you know what I mean. But I read lots of them, and comment on a few.

    I wonder if blogs, even popular ones, need to make money? I guess if you need the money, if you want to make a career out of it, they do. But if you’re getting along just fine financially, why does it? I’m not being a smart arse, I am genuinely curious – just because it’s a popular spot, why does it need to be a money spinner?

    My 2 cents. x

    • I suppose they don’t have to make money. I’m trying to work out if I CAN make money doing something I totally love doing, rather than doing something else I only kind of love, but makes me money. THE QUANDRY!!!

    • Thanks for replying.

      My other thought is that I wonder if you’ll still love it like you do if it does become a money maker? Again, genuinely wondering. Turning it into a business, I thought, always looked like *such* hard work.

      Have fun at the blogging shindig later in the week. Sounds like fun. x

  9. I love your blog. Funnily enough I try so hard to come up with interesting and funny topics for my blog because I’ve so far avoided “mummy posts” about my kids and my life, trying to hang on to my “cool” which funnily enough results in me really having not much to say, if I actually told stories of my every day and opened up my world to people I’d have more to offer as “mummy posts” are really my world now. Your blog is honest, interesting and definately relevant!

  10. I had the exact same conversation on the weekend. I may have smacked myself about the head metaphorically more than a little too. Why do I need to justify why I blog if it’s not for money? Why do I feel like a wanker saying I do it for the love.
    Why do I cringe when I say I am a mummy blogger? (Why do I cringe when I type it) blah.

    You have put into words so well what I have been thinking. I love H4G and that’s because I found it through you. Enjoy your cardigan. I may have cardigan envy.

  11. How weird, yet how right, is blogging. All I know is that I love it, it keeps me sane, I’m surprised when anyone reads it and because of it I get to have a drink with you this week. X

  12. Only bloggers get it, it feels like an alien world sometimes! Ten years I’ve been home with my babies, I know it’s the most important job in the world, hubby feels the same, and still I’m trying to justify it to people..
    love your recipes, might try that date loaf tomorrow.

  13. I have clicked on a lot of links from your blog and now I have another one to click on. Though I have to say, it’ll do nothing for my resolve to try and spend less time shopping online…but what’s a girl to do??? Thank you :)

  14. I’ve been blogging for 10 years and don’t even have an audience. But, I do it more for myself than anyone. I love rereading my posts and looking at the photos. It’s a record of my life which is all I’ve ever wanted from my blog.

    I’ve only recently discovered your blog but really enjoy reading your posts everyday. Thanks for making the effort!

  15. Kind of going off on a tangent about one thing you mentioned… You shouldn’t feel inferior or irrelevant compared to the ‘hipsters’. Seriously. I feel just as sorry for all those ‘trying-so-hard-to-be-effortlessly-cool’ people as they probably feel for me. And that’s fine. Different stages. Different pages.

    Actually, you should watch (if you haven’t already) this to make you feel better compared to the ‘hipsters’: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HR4n6OVoyYQ

  16. You’re one of the best bloggers ever Lady, you were my inspiration to start blogging myself and I couldn’t agree more about it being much more than money. It IS a connection and a lot of fun along the way. I do get how you feel about not bringing in the dough anymore too. It’s been 4 months since I stopped working and I haven’t been without paid employment since I was 16! Very hard to adjust to… and I feel quite vulnerable not seeing my own money coming in… which is rather silly considering it is MY money in the savings account, all those years at the one company allowed me to take this time off though and I’m going to try and enjoy it for all it’s worth. Have a ball at the conference, I know you will xo

  17. I’ve got zilch to say on the blogs making money front, different things work for different people, in all aspects of life so I try to let things just be what they are. In other news, you are such a skinny mini in that shot!! I mean, the cardigans at hunting for George are delightful but they don’t sell your pins, and I have pin envy, not cardigan envy!

  18. Ladies like you and your beautifully created, inspiring blogs motivate me daily – I wanna be like you when I grow up. Your blog is something to be proud of, when it makes you money is only a matter of time. Until then keep doing what you do and know that your words impact others xx

  19. My little blog is barely a BLIP on anyone’s radar. And that’s ok.

    I love your blog. I learn from it and it inspires me.

    Girl, if you can make a dollar here and there, I’d say go for it. Life is short. Make it count!

    H4G are amazing. Really great, original stuff.

    I often have pangs of regret when I go out and realise how different the scene is. That is, IF I can be bothered to go out. But this year, I think I will definitely head out more and treat myself.

    My friends without kids, all wish they had kids, they are trying to find a decent man to sneeze on them and fall PG. Yet, alot of my friends with kids, are planning 30th birthdays in Hawaii and Ibiza, to cut loose and kick back without the kids. I guess we are all on different journeys at different times… All of us want the same thing though… happiness…

    xxx

  20. cardigans and Melbourne are the best of friends!

    What other occupation in the world pays in cardies? I think you are onto something.

  21. Whata great post! I know exactly what you mean about the blogging experience…i sometimes wonder whether blogging is worth it but then i remember i started blogging for me…not to gain an audience and money. It is great therapy and a fantastic chronicle of our family life to look back on as we introduced the twins to the dynamic!
    Glad you did manage a freebie though…gorgeous!!!

  22. hhmmmmm quite appropriate that you post about being a ‘worky worker’ today. I’ve always considered myself a ‘worky worker’ too and this phase just an interuption. However, I just finished a blog post about being told I may as well give up trying to get back to work.
    So, not sure what my message is for you, maybe just enjoy Melourne this weekend and hope you get the answers you seek, Dee x

  23. Hey Beth

    I’ve been reading and enjoying design/motherhood blogs for a few years now. I don’t have a blog of my own, and I’m not likely to ever have one as I’ve come to understand how much work they are! I’m a relative newcomer to your blog (a few months I’ve been reading, I think), but I ‘drop by’ almost everyday because reading your blog is like having a (albeit, one-sided) chat with a great friend. You have a wonderful ‘voice’, and I know you’ve had a rocky start to the year, it can’t be easy to ‘bring-it’ here.

    This won’t necessarily be helpful to you, but I’m a 33-year-old mother of a toddler son (and one ‘baking’, for release in August). I currently work 4 days a week in a job I love (book design), but I’m constantly torn about whether I’m doing the right thing by my family. I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the grass will always seem greener on the other side – if I was at home full-time, I’d feel restless, and while at work, I wonder whether I should be home! I think all we can do is recognise when a situation isn’t working (like I believe you did a while back) and take steps to make it right.

    I hope you have a fab time in Melbourne, and I hope you get the clarity on your quandaries that you’re after.

    (I’m not sure this comment has made any sense, but the take-home message should be that I love your work, your words, and I hope awesome things are ahead for you ;-)

  24. Anonymous says:

    I love reading your blog each day Beth -(although it has now been blocked at my workplace due to its porn content wtf?), I also forced my husband to cook your cheats pizza on Friday night using exactly the same toppings you used for yours – was fab!

  25. hahahahah PORN CONTENT!!! ahahahaha

    this is why we love you beth.

    xo em

  26. Anonymous says:

    I LOVE you blog! I get excited when I get on here and find a new post..I had not heard of vejuice until reading it :) I have it in the cupboard now but still waiting to make the lamb, really should get my butcher husband to get onto that!! Jacinta B

  27. Anonymous says:

    *verjuice…We live in a small town and I had to hunt around the supermarket when we went to a larger centre, I wasn;t leaving without it… Jacinta B (again)

  28. Rebecca S says:

    I LOVE your blog too!!! I am a mum in Sydney and I really enjoy reading your blog. I can RELATE!! I love the cardi in the top picture with the blue and pink on it, where did you get it??

  29. All too often our self worth is all tied up in our net worth. It really is never about the money, it is all about the fun and thrill factor and the money is a nice sideline. BTW you are doing a very worthwhile mothering job right now! But it seems you are looking for ‘more’ as your baby gets older?? And that’s ok too. I know that feeling, it’s like I’ve got this bit sorted, what’s next?

    The most successful people in ANY field will always tell you to do what you love and the financial success will usually follow. If you think it might make you feel more productive and employed, What the heck, put the ads on in a way that you like and see what happens, what have you got to lose? make sure you are able to can them if they aren’t right for you!

  30. Love your cardi, love your blog!

  31. That fantabulous prize you won tonight will hopefully be enough to make you realise that you matter and you are important. Keep doing what you do and enjoy your Territory, I do mine!

  32. Love Hunting for George…. Fab stuff… You blog because you enjoy it… No need to rationalize that or explain to anyone x

  33. Anonymous says:

    Dear Beth, Happened upon your blog today as I was showing my kids where I used to tromp around in Aussie when I was an exchange student in high school… Dear girl, you ARE putting money in the bank. You are raising well adjusted children whose parents are committed to them. You are putting time and effort and a lot of love into your marriage. Others are chasing after money and the material things they can buy and wondering why you aren’t doing it too – because every body’s doing it. Others aren’t parenting their children but visiting them in the evenings for a short time (when they are exhausted, mind you). Others are running through this life so fast that they don’t even appreciate what God has put around them every day to enjoy. You are totally doing the right thing by putting your husband and children first before another endeavor that wouldn’t include them or even take away from your input into their lives. God made us to have roles and if you really sit and think about it, it all makes sense. Some one must take care of the children and train them and nurture them. That is why, when people don’t do it themselves, they need to hire some one else to do it in their place. You have things right. Don’t let society’s confusion make you feel like you are doing something sub par. Your money in the bank is all the shrink bills, medications, hospital and doctor bills (from your kids living self destructive lives due to poor choices), and divorce repercussions that you are saving your precious family. Keep showing people there is a different way to live!

  34. Thanks for your words, Beth. You’re the first blog I go to for my bloggy fix, and I’ve been reading you for years. I used to blog too but got a little caught up and confused and just… stopped. I MISS it. I REALLY miss it. I have so many ideas for something new but am too scared to begin. And I ask myself – what is it all for? What do I want to get out of it? How can I justify all that time for what amounts to “nothing”. But it’s not “nothing”. I can see how much you get out of your blog and it’s community, please don’t stop, I love coming to your place and seeing what’s going on in the world of BabyMac. Not in a stalker way. I really should comment more, damn Android making it more difficult than easy. Just thought you should know that you have one other faithful reader out there.

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