We have had one night of uninterrupted sleep since the 10th December last year. We had one night where Harper slept in her bed all night when we were away at the hut last week, but she still woke and had to be settled (which I could do from my bed) so I am also counting that as a good nights sleep. Before December I can’t remember how long it had been but I am happy to put my hand up and say that we have had 3 (tops) good nights sleep in as many months.
This is bullshit.
I am no princess when it comes to the sleeping. I have dealt with more than my fair share of the shitty sleep. Night terrors, night mares, sitting whilst sleep comes, crawling on the floor waiting for the escape from my children, I have done it all (except hopping in the cot with my kids. Yes I do know someone who has done that). I know bad sleep. I can deal with bad sleep. I suck it up and get on with it with relatively little impact, if my little you mean I only scowl cruel, heartless, venomous attacks at my husband in the middle of the night because I absolutely resent the fact that I have to deal with it while he lays in bed even though he is awake through sheer fear of what will be thrown at him. Ahem. When I have little, little babies I am happy to wake up to 4 times a night to feed for hours at a time, I do it. I get on with it. It’s just the relentlessness of these past months that has been harder than before. The not knowing what to do, why it’s happening, and being seemingly unable to help that has blown the big one.
Yesterday afternoon we saw an ENT about Harper with our belief that she had sleep apnea. From spending many times on the floor of her room, and then also when she was in our bed with us, we knew that her snoring had gotten worse over the same period of time that her sleep had deteriorated. We knew that she woke after she appeared to stop breathing, then she would cough, and splutter and cry and wake up again. She would get back to sleep, only to do this 5 or 6 or 15 more times before eventually getting into a deeper sleep. Classic signs of sleep apnea. And we were right, she does, and she has enlarged tonsils which aren’t helping and in one months time she will be getting a tonsillectomy and having the tonsils and adenoids removed. We will be in hospital for a night, then a week or so of recovery and then, hopefully then, the kid will get some better quality sleep. We all will. And we won’t feel like the living dead. The cute living dead. Her not me.
Bring that shit ON.