The other day when my hair appointment was cancelled I had some time to kill so we splashed right out and went to medicare! Because that’s how I roll and that’s some crazy fun right there! We walked out with our $96 refund (score) and then straight past a shoe shop that the girls demanded that we go into. 20 minutes later I walked out the door with a little money left from Medicare (oops) and 2 pairs of summer shoes for the girls. Harper was particularly hilarious with hers, she spotted them in the shop, took them from the shelf and then took them to the lady saying “My TURN. These ones. MY TURN!”
She has pretty good taste doesn’t she? Expensive, European and cute.
Every time I look at these pretties my heart breaks a little. I mean they are beyond sweet, but it’s more than that. Are these the last little pair of summer sandals I’ll buy? Sure, there will be sandals next year and all the rest after that, but are these the last proper little sandals I’ll be buying for my kids? Daisy proves to me every day that this time, these days of having small people that need me for stuff, they are numbered. She is big. Grown up. Independent. This big, long kid. I know it’s a cliche, but I swear to you she was just born. And now Harper, almost two. Big tears spring to my eyes just to write that down. Two. How did that happen?
I’m still trying to work out if we will have another kid. Maybe not. Maybe. It’s really undecided. It’s probably more on the maybe not side of things in my head though. This feels like it. Like this is all of us. My heart wants to feel one more baby kicking inside of me but my head does not want to deliver it, or deal with the breastfeeding, and more sleepless years. My head is selfish like that. I’m selfish like that. My heart wants to see the girls with someone else that they will love, another dynamic, another joy but my head sees the tantrums, the tears, the fights, the possibility of twins that are in the family all that other stuff. Who knows who will win. Who knows if I would even be lucky enough to be blessed with another healthy baby? In the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy these little summer sandals for what they are. Right now.
Gorgeous little summer shoes that belong to my baby.