Picking sides

I will admit, my post yesterday was a “here I’ll shove something up so I don’t have to write anything”. However, Harper singing Annie is always worthy of a post on the blog…too sweet that gal, too sweet. You see, my mind and heart was all in a state after the weekend that was. It was whirling and swirling and I had the strong desire (as I have had in the past) to hop off this crazy ride. So I did for a little bit, tried to stay off line and take out my crankiness on things (and people) in my house. In the process my house was cleaned from top to toe (my cleaner had slipped a disc in her back and is out of order…NOOOOOO!) and I took out of my frustrations on the floor that got mopped really well.

So. What was all the fuss about? Who knows. Do I need to share them with you? Perhaps not. I keep writing paragraphs here and then deleting them and then writing something else and then deleting them. I can’t verbalise it properly, the words aren’t forming properly, I suppose because it’s not just one thing, or another, it’s more of a feeling.

I don’t like the feeling of the “in” or “out” crowd that can sometimes happen on twitter or in the blogging community. It’s easy when everyone is doing the same thing and people have success to feel left out, or wondering why the hell is she doing so much better than I am? I will put my hand up to doing this on many occasions, putting my neediness and desire to be liked out there and it does come across as jealousy. Which is SO stupid. SO stupid because really, we are all on the same team. We should be congratulating each other. Celebrating each others successes. But sometimes we don’t and I guess that’s because we are all human and female humans, an even more dangerous combination. I’m not quite sure which crowd I fit into. Sometimes I try and keep up on twitter but it’s fast, and it’s competitive, all trying to put out the best one liners, one upping each other with our humour and wit, but holy SHIT is it exhausting. Sometimes I feel like it’s not too far from the High school playground I left all those years behind one group looking at the other group, each group outdoing the other. Sometimes. Not all the time.   And because I am me, I am always trying to make it with the cool kids. But lately, most of the time, I feel like a need a shower at the end of a session. I’m exhausted and I feel a little dirty.

Saturday nights event was great fun and a worthy celebration, but was another “in” and “out” crowd moment for me. I received emails from people asking how you get invited to these things, what do you have to do, and well…I HAVE NO IDEA. Sure they look glamorous drinking cocktails and getting dressed up and they are when you usually stay at home wiping poo out of little peoples bottoms, but they are put together by PR companies and seriously, who knows how these guys target bloggers. Do they do it right? Sometimes. Can they make us fight against each other for the best product/review or even that some of us chose to do said product reviews blah blah blah and then feel they have to justify themselves for doing so? I think so. And that sucks because it kind of puts us against each other when we really are all on the same team aren’t we?

Then a post went out yesterday by my friend Maxabella that was directed at my lack of sex life post that I put up last week. And the post was great. Bron, as she always does with her posts, put out another side to the story, a well articulated and thought out case for :”just doing it” which I agree with, but some of the comments pissed me off. It seemed like a ‘pick your team’ moment – the ‘don’t talk about sex people’ on one side and the ‘not have sex and talk about it’ (me) on the other, and then explain why your side if better than the other. A chance for people to pick sides. When (I reckon) we are all on the same team – raising kids, trying to be good partners, trying to live our own complicated lives in the best way we can, and sometimes writing about it along the way. And this isn’t a feel bad for me anything – Bron and I discussed it offline and there’s no dramas because we are grown up’s and not in Highschool anymore THANK GOODNESS. Who knows why it pissed me off so much? I think I was tired, and hormonal and I decided to bite, and be defensive and hurt and grumpy instead of just turning off the computer and living my life (story of my life at the moment hey?!). Note to self Beth: You post something on the interwebs, you are going to get opposing points of view. And it doesn’t mean that people don’t like you. Or maybe they don’t. But thank goodness for that right? Imagine if we all thought the same?

So, for now I am going to slow down. Stop competing. Stop trying. And just be me, do what I do, and occasionally look out this window.

Because DEAR GOD there is Spring blossom on my trees out there, and it’s so beautiful.

AND I have clean, mopped floors inside.

Yes, when I look from my laptop there are plenty of things to celebrate. And live.

And I’m going to share that with you too, just without getting caught up in the politics that can sometimes happen in this world of blogging that I am SO proud and lucky to be a part of. I’m going to get a thicker skin, I am going to give myself my own boundaries to work within. But, I am NEVER going to stop celebrating all those fabulous bloggers out there who day in, day out, make my life as a mother easier, more enjoyable and FUN. I’m going to fly all your flags, because they all deserve it. I mean we are raising the future generation of our country AND wiping poo as we do it. Now that is something worth celebrating right?

Comments

  1. God you’re awesome.

  2. I don’t really know you, but oh, how I relate to this post. SO, SO much! I try not to let it turn to jealousy, but it can creep in. Or not so much jealousy but more ‘what is wrong with me that they don’t want me’?

    And that window! I’d never want to sit anywhere else!

    This really was a wonderful post.

  3. How do you get ANYTHING done with a window and view like that?
    I tried twitter, but completely agree with you – it’s like being at some competitive party where everyone wants to be the funniest. And I’m not.

  4. So much – in fact all – of this post resonates with me. And you have saved my weary brain from having to articulate what is in my head and heart.

    Perhaps for me I have reached a point – in fact through reading another blog somewhere and its comments – that I am going to stop judging. Hard for me because I can be very judgemental.

    Just get on with my own thing and celebrate what others are doing.

    As for Twitter – as of today I am not going to be there – well I am but not to tweet but to read tweets coming out of the ABC mostly. Facebook is a calmer space for me and that is where I will be.

    x

  5. You know I haven’t blogged since Saturday night either and feeling very similar to you – again. I thought for awhile last night that perhaps I’d close bigwords ( a mixture of being hungover, embarrassed, tired, getting my period and missing my family). Then I just decided that I would continue on without any thoughts of cool/not cool/pr/media kits yadda yadda yadda. I would just do what I like doing and write and if people read it or if people like me or don’t like me then so be it.

    In the meantime, I’ll keep visiting here as it is such a great place to visit xx

  6. Totally agree on the Twitter factor – it’s so exhausting. I tried to be there a lot but failed miserably. I’ll dabble now and then, but it’s a little too hectic for me.
    And one other thing – I’ve said it before and I stand by it still – YOU ARE FAB-U-LOUS!! xx

  7. Hit the nail on the head for a lot of people I would imagine, including me.I haven’t started to utilise twitter properly as I am worried about once I get on that ride, I wont be able to get off!!
    I think twitter is a reflection of life. There are going to be those that are masters of the one liners, with wit that shines in 140 characters. Then there are those, that require longer to frame their thoughts and they are often the best bloggers.
    If you don’t take time out to live life, what would you write about?
    Have a great week xx

  8. i like you. i respect you. BAM. no higher praise.

    xo em

  9. Hi Beth..I like your conclusions! If you feel all uptight and stirred up again this would be a good post to go back to as a reference and read them all over again. Bloggers are always best when they relax a little and be themselves..with a thick skin.

  10. I could not agree with you more. As a new blogger I’ve attempted to break into Twitter and I dabble from time to time but it’s so hard to be noticed and I felt so left out. But you know what, I had a think and I thought, if people don’t want to talk or interact with me, then that’s ok. In real life, they probably wouldn’t be the sort of people I’d be friends with anyway.

    Just because we’re bloggers doesn’t mean we all have to “like” each other IYKWIM. We don’t have to be part of the in-crowd. For there to be an in-crowd, there has to be an out-crowd – otherwise we’d all just be a crowd. And I don’t mind being part of the out-crowd. It too is “in” in its own way :).

  11. LOVE LOVE LOVE your honesty.
    I could probably safely say that is why MOST people come here Beth…..it’s certainly why I do. For your honesty.
    Honesty is missing alot these days.
    I empathise totally with you. Agree with lots of what you say. We ARE all on the same side….osme of us just handle it differently & that is ok. Difference is what makes humanity interesting, exciting and vibrant.
    Blogging is NOT a competition. For most of us SAHM’s it is a means to give ourselves just a LITTLE, TINY LITTLE smidge of being in a grown-ups mind just sometimes…..
    I have never understood how people manage to post EVERY.SINGLE. DAY in amongst being a SAHM to little ones.
    I will never be able to do that while I am managing my 5 little ones.
    I certainly could never do that AND keep up with everything else I have to do.
    And my house is NOWHERE ner as clean as yours!
    You do an AWESOME job lady!!! Don’t you go forgetting it & please oh please don’t go changing.
    You are just right.
    xxx

  12. good girl xxx

  13. What a roller coaster.
    I hope you feel secure in your space here.
    It’s yours. All yours.
    We’re happy guests, but this space is supposed to be about you.
    Your posts are a reflection of you.
    I believe it’s called being genuine.
    I loved your ‘no sex’ post. Laughed my head off and loved it.
    But I also commented at Maxabella’s that if we all got off the www & ‘on the job’ we wouldn’t have an issue.
    It was very tongue in cheek and the ‘we’ meant ALL of us on here tip tapping while our partners slumber or do god knows what else!

    I love that you’ve ‘worked through’ the feelings that cropped up and hope you’re having a great day – online and off!

    Somedays it’s nice being this tiny little fish on the edge of the pond watching you big fish do your thing!

    :-)

  14. Before I could comment, I had to read the 2 other posts you’d linked to, so that I could understand.

    Now that I have more of an understanding, I felt the need to comment. It could be long. I apologise for that.

    Beth, your blog is frikkin’ amazing, and REFRESHINGLY honest. You probably get sick of hearing that, but honestly, that’s why I’m hooked (and I’m sure I speak on behalf of everyone else).

    In all honesty, I’d hate to be a powerblogger. Imagine your full time job had to be stat-watching, keeping up with the NOISE of twitter, facebook, PR company schmoozing, and having to do posts based around what particular companies need you to say in exchange for one measly ticket to the USA. I honestly couldn’t think of anything worse.

    I like being a teeny blogger in the blogosphere, because the ‘out’ crowd is really the ‘in’ crowd. And we don’t have to come up with amazing one-liner tweets, and we don’t even have to bloody log on to twitter, because man … it’s competitive, and noisy.

    Finally, I think I need to leave on this note: my family came over from Adelaide the other week, my Dad, step mum, aunts, uncles, nanna. And you know what we were doing? We were huddled around my iPad, because I told them how they HAD to read some of my favourite posts from your blog. And it was so adorable, my entire family, huddled in together pissing ourselves laughing at the particularly funny ones, commenting on the thought provoking ones, and just enjoying everything your blog provides for its readers.

    So I guess you didn’t know that was what one family was doing in Melbourne one Saturday night, but it was awesome. Your blog is awesome. And people everywhere have to love you, christ, my 77 year old Nanna couldn’t have laughed harder at your shiny-vagina post.

    … I very nearly thought she was going to have a heart attack!

    Keep being you, who cares about the stats, or the blogher’s, or who has a problem with you discussing sex (which you did tactfully) on your blog, or who’s ‘in’ and ‘out’.

    Because at the beginning, you wrote for your sisters who were overseas, and this is all an extension of that.

    Apologies for the lengthy post, but sometimes I just feel the need to sing praise where praise is due.

    Cherie, from ‘a baby called Max’.

  15. I get this.
    I’ve been trying to work up the courage to set my blog to publish but, I feel a bit psyched out, I’m a big blog reader and it does at times seem like a clique.

  16. I love you Beth, and if I was a dude, I would have totally been all up on you on Saturday night!

    I hope you don’t mind but I’ve written my own post about my own experiences from Saturday night and how I feel about it xx

  17. jesus that’s a shiny floor. the rest of the post mostly went over my head. there’s an ‘in’ crowd? huh. there you go.

  18. Beth,

    How is it that you crawl in my headspace and articulate so well what I am thinking?

    Just recently i have begun to notice that there definately is a whole ‘clique’ thing happening in the blogosphere. You have to have read one blog to understand another, and then there is the whole ‘event’ thing and don’t get me started on twitter. I have tried to read a few tweets and then get lost in the tangled web of inter-connected tweets from all the cool girls. You read one blogger you know heading off to something and wham! there are the other so-called ‘cool’ ones along for the ride too. I was left feeling a little deflated and isolated and I don’t even have a public blog! Ha! (how embarassing am i, and not about the blog thing) The whole thing seems to have lost a lot of integrity.

    So i get what you are saying about the impact blogs can have on people and the unspoken politics of it all.

    Thank you for speaking your mind. Thank you for working it all out in your head via your blog. Thank you for talking about things that truly, other people DO think about too, like not having sex but loving clean floors and fresh flowers and still trying to be an awesome mum with your eyeballs dragging on the ground from no sleep.

    Thank you.

    Keep on keeping it real, Beth. You do it VERY well x

  19. Different opinions are what makes the world go around and I’m always happy to stand up for my opinion. There are no opposing ‘sides’, only a different way of looking at things. Of course, you know that. Sometimes we just feel picked on and get grumpy for a while and that’s just the way life goes. All’s okay.

    With the cliquey biz, you know I agree with every word you have written. We’ve talked about it all before.

    I can’t stand it either.

    It’s kinda human nature though, right? So of course the blogging world isn’t going to be immune to it. Sometimes it’s a lot about parking our egos at the door and not getting caught up in what other people are doing.

    Live and let live.

    You’re gorgeous and I love ya.

    x

  20. PS – Twitter is too playground for me. I always feel like the loser.

    So I don’t go there very often.

    x

  21. I read your blog and I read Maxabellas blog – I love them both for very different reasons. I was actually a bit shocked to read her post about your post. It pissed me off too. I know she wasn’t being mean, but I just thought it was unnecessary – you can talk about whatever you want to – IT”S YOUR BLOG!!!! Thanks for keeping it real – the ones that appear to have the perfect life are not being honest. In my humble opinion:)

  22. I’m going to say it. I think there’s a lot of ass licking that goes on in the blogging world. And lots of competitiveness. I don’t really get it.

    Is it because people want to be the next Dooce or something? Honestly, whatevs to that. Can’t people just write and share what’s on their mind without the competitiveness? It being a ‘sport’?

    I admit I DO read those kinda blogs, where you can feel that they’re headed that kind of way. But I CONNECT far more with blogs that are brutally honest and a bit more everyday. Overly stylised blog often shit me to TEARS! There, I said it again.

    Maybe that’s what happens when money (sponsored posts, PR people etc.) come into the equation? That’s my theory anyway.

    One of the best things I did was delete my facebook account. Maybe you need a twitter detox?

  23. I think you’e great for blogging about this and being honest about how you feel- not everyone is brave enough to do so.Love that your post gave others food for thought and something to throw out for comments- it’s flattering in a sense right? As for hanging with the cool kids- I learnt the hard way in school that nothing good every comes from it, there’s just always way too much competition – as Heidi says ” One day you’re in, the next day your out”. Love, love , love your blog.

  24. I honestly think we can think too much about this stuff. And that just gets into the way of what we as bloggers do – blog.

    There are SO many events I don’t get invited to – and so many I have to say no too because of where I live. That doesn’t make me part of any crowd at all. And I’m happy about that. I certainly don’t get on Twitter and express disappointment to a beauty company or PR that they left me off a guest list. That’s a sure fire way to NEVER get on a guest list.

    I have chosen to go to blogging conferences and meet-ups because I work in isolation and want to bounce ideas and learn from others.

    The more I meet bloggers at these events and conferences the more we become friends in real life. And that’s the huge bonus.

  25. I guess it depends if you want to chase the ‘celebrity’ status that some want to chase through their blog.
    How do PR companies decide to invite people to events? How do companies get personal addresses to send freebies? My only guess is that people put it out there? Not sure but don’t really care.
    I never got caught up in the highschool dramas and can’t see myself getting caught up in the competitive blog drama.
    I do chuckle to myself that while I comment frequently on other people’s blogs, I must not be cool enough for then to return the gesture, even once, to let me know they visited me.
    I blog for me, for my family and if I strike a chord with someone then all good. No sleep lost over stats I don’t read.
    As for Twitter and Facebook – not my cup of tea.
    Keep it real for you and remember that nothing good comes from comparing.

  26. I’m loving the blue chair, the shiny floors and those amazing windows.
    Not loving the idea of cliques and in-crowds and needing to tweet to compete.
    I enjoy reading your blog if that counts for anything!

  27. Blog for yourself.

    I think most of us do.

    The only time I feel a bit weird reading blogs is when I feel like I am being sucked into a response, for more comments and stats for that blog. To me thats boring and annoying, if it comes from the heart I love it.

    Thats why I like your blog.

    But thats just me and what I like. People blog for different reasons, it takes all sorts.

    Also some people want to make a living out of it and well then it gets tricky to mix a career with something than can be quite personal at times.

    In the real world we probably would not mix, but I appreciate your humor, your frustration and an insight into your life you choose to share on your blog.

  28. Great post.
    Firstly on the ‘forbidden topic’. Each to their own I think. I wouldn’t blog on my blog about my sex life, but that is just me. But I don’t get offended or excited if anyone else does and don’t mind adding my two cents in on someone elses blog either.
    As for Twitter. It can be hard work and since I have changed focus from purely business tweeting to both I know there are definitely ‘cliques’ that I sometimes want to join in with and yes it does feel like the school yard all over again :(
    Personally, I don’t judge anyone. I love the blogging world because I can see that most are genuine, warm and open, and we are all so unique in our own ways. And like you said we are all going through the same life just in different ways.
    I’m with you, lets celebrate each other! Which is why I try and support, tweet, post, Facebook, all my fav blogs and there is always room for more.
    Sorry this is so long! Ooops I blogged on your blog :(

  29. I think you are super cool…

    xx

  30. I adore you and I adore your blog. But you knew that anyway. I used to feel a bit left out sometimes, but then I reminded myself I am a grown up and get over it. I started my blog to write, and goddam it I will. I just do my own thing now and I stay out of any politics. No interest.

    You rock xx

  31. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I typed a blog post about this very thing about ten times on the weekend and then kept hitting delete until eventually I shut the lid on my laptop and went for a run to put it all out of my mind. Gosh but you are a very clever lady!

  32. I need to feel like you and clean my house. You are a gifted writer dear Beth, and I love the reminder that we’re all on the same team. Thanks!

  33. I agree with Mrs Woog, blog because you want to and as long as you look at your blog and think it’s good then it’s good.
    I have another website which is a niche topic that I generate and income from (very little income!) but my blog was about me, a release for me, nothing more. It’s hard not to want to jump on the bandwagon, I must admit I doubt I’d say no if I got invited to cool parties, but I’m not going to get down on myself when I don’t.
    You’ve got a nice following just from being you.

  34. I know what you mean about the “in crowd”. I’m only new to my blog and am shy IRL anyway so find it hard to speak up. I went to Kerri Sackville’s book launch & ended up leaving early because I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I find some many of the “big” bloggers are very extroverted and just so unlike me.
    Plus I have to remember that my blog is not like many of the others. I blog about housework and the way I’m trying to become better at it. Quite a specific demographic I suppose.
    I mostly follow bloggers on twitter as a means to get their links – a feed reader basically. I find it can be too hard and confusing to engage in conversations and it does get really cliquey sometimes.
    Sigh. Sometimes I wonder why I bother with it all really.

  35. Oh this is so fascinating. I think i have lived so far from anyone for so long, doing my own thing i have no idea that there are even in & out blog crowds?? I don’t bother much with FB & have never tweeted (or followed a Tweeter) as with 4 children & a husband away (for like 4 years) i simply don’t have the time or inclination.
    I’ve heard a few bloggers give up or stop allowing comments as they feel like they’re back at high school & uncool or not included, oh, i’m a bit shocked as maybe i’m blind but i didn’t realise that was what blogging was about??
    I get hate emails as i appear to do the mother thing too well, OMG, sorry but hell, i did have easy children but don’t try & keep up with me – living on a budget with a husband who goes to war to provide for us as a soldier, 4 children, the eldest of whom has commenced private high school, sure, try to compete, it’s a bloody huge challenge!!
    If someone wants to air dirty laundry, talk about sex or depression, if i disagree, i just click away, doesn’t mean that post takes away from the other posts which i loved. We all have good & bad days, brain farts & the sudden urge to put something out there for feedback. Stop the self doubt, you get way more meaningful comments (quality & quantity) than those with ‘followers’ of 2000, what really matters most?? Love posie

  36. Twitter,I have never understood that place, it is too crazy for my seriously technology handicapped person.

    Your blog is lovely, personal (thank god!) it is nice to hear that someone else is really dealing with the same things I am. That you also get cranky and shout at your husband, that you also need coffee and time to yourself to function. There are too many perfect mum’s and houses out there for my liking.

    Anyway, you and your blog, they are cool!
    Alanah.

  37. Oh just a thing on all these blog conferences – never been invited (personally) or attended, do i care – it’s not possible in my here & now anyway (husband away, living in Canberra, 4 children), so i just slot it up there with everything else that changed after having children like having to wear a top i could lift for years of breastfeeding & no dresses; having homework on school nights instead of going to the gym or out with girlfriends; leaving the high powered oil industry & using my degrees to HAPPILY swapping it all for motherhood at home . . . i’m totally happy with what i created & by the time i’m 40 my 4 will be teenagers & i can do anything i wish as they can care for themselves – yep, i’ve taken the time to make them independent & capable, for the big pay off at the end. Love Posie

  38. Wait – there’s ass licking going on in the blogging world? I WANT SOME ASS LICKING.

    Actually, my husband does, but I’d have to go to your sex post to comment about that. If I’m allowed, and don’t offend anyone. Because my hubby keeps asking me to lick his ass and I’m just NOT going to do that.

    You just be you, mate. You’re enough.

    xxoo

  39. You are funny AND you are human….your blog is about you and should be what you want to be. I think 90% + of the peeps out there feel the same at some time or another about the whole lot…sex, work, in- out bullshit along with jealousy and success. Don’t judge yourself so harshly ya fool…no one else is..

    As for the twitter, blog event invites, reviews etc.. I think twitter is more of a work based thing…not my bag and invites and reviews should just be based on a each one as it comes… Each to their own…your true fans/mates/followers and compadres are not going anywhere…. Love you , love your blog x

  40. I feel where you’re coming from. Really FEEL it. I don’t know how I can help you with it except to let you know that I’ve been there too. I’m there a lot, in fact.

    Twitter: thank god someone has said how exhausting it is! I have never been able to keep up, I don’t even try, and have marveled at how others manage it. It never occurred to me that they might be struggling to keep up with it, I thought you were all just loving the shit out of it.

    Thanks for keeping it real. Fist Bump. Or something.

  41. I want to start by saying I adore you. I get what you’re saying. I didn’t like high school. I was in the popular group but never felt like I should have been. I don’t want to be back there.

    There will always be in crowds but I just want to go my own way. There will always be people that get my goat, but I just steer clear of them. I don’t know what I’m trying to say but I wanted to comment enough that I did it from my phone (huge deal!).

    I guess sometimes these things happen and you get a bit of perspective. It’s great to have a wonderful offline world to retreat to. I could happily (although hesitantly) pack up my blog and get on with living an offline life and I think it’s always great to have that reality check.

    Again, I adore you Miss Beth. Chin up buttercup. x

  42. I’m obviously in the ‘out’ crowd as I never realised twitter was thought of like that, and after reading a few comments, your not the only one at all!
    Oh and I agree with Emily from The Bettle Shack. I hope I can be as cool as you when I grow up. xx

  43. I totally feel that there is in and out crowds and the thing that shits me, is that I feel like the “in” crowd are the ones that are discouraging of anyone trying to come up in the bloggy world. How hard is it to make a comment when someone continually comments on your blog or give a word of encouragement to someone smaller than you, this is what ticks me off about the “in” crowd – don’t they remember that they were small once too??? I also find twitter way too hard to hard to keep up with, but it seems to be a way to get noticed, why is it all so hard? (Thank you Beth for being a commentor, I love that you write back to people :) )

  44. I haven’t had time to read all the comments, so apologies in advance if I am just repeating what others have said. I will get to it! (My tagline fo the week!). This is one of my favourite posts of all time. Not just of yours, but of the blogosphere. I read Maxabella’s post, and couldn’t necessarily fault it, as you said it was a great post. I didn’t comment, and perhaps that is because I didn’t know how to word what I wanted to say, or perhaps it was because I got the sense of ‘you are with me or against me’, and didn’t want to be controversial. I’m annoyed at myself for NOT doing it! I think that different issues are different for everyone. I have no problem with people talking about their sex life on blogs, I can click away to another page if I am not interested. As women and mothers, we all have different issues. For some, breastfeeding might come easily, for others not, some may want sex more than their husbands, for a lot of women it is the opposite. I think that when someone downplays your difficulty as ‘just get over it’, it is not being sensitive, and there was a sense of this attitude in Maxabella’s post the other day. I think that what I love about blogging is that when we have difficulties, we often feel alone, but when we share on our blogs, so often we find that we are not.
    Hope this somewhat makes sense, but someone has just woken up from their nap and needs my attention, so I can’t edit. xx Sannah

  45. Hi Beth – just had to say this post was totally brilliant and stuck a chord with me yesterday when I was reading it. I am definitely a person who can worry about whether I’m in or out, whether people like me or don’t. I am kind of glad at this stage that not many people, if any, read my blog as at the moment I’m doing it solely for me. And I know my writing could be so much better, and my layout of the blog is total crap, so I would feel like a complete loser if and totally embarassed if I knew more than a handful of people were reading. And don’t get me started on twitter – I don’t know the first thing about it. Maybe it’s a good thing I’m living in Africa, in a dusty small town, where the pressure of social media isn’t so great. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with it all when we finally return to civilisation. So I just wanted to say I get what you’re saying, and despite what you think and your insecurities, I love your blog, it’s one of the first things I read of a morning and I often tell my hubby at lunch or the end of the day about something funny you’ve written or something that has totally made sense to me (eg your no-sex post!). Please keep writing what you write – it all makes sense to me :)

  46. Redundant Mother says:

    Oh my Beth…your comment, “Sometimes I try and keep up on twitter but it’s fast, and it’s competitive, all trying to put out the best one liners, one upping each other with our humour and wit, but holy SHIT is it exhausting. Sometimes I feel like it’s not too far from the High school playground I left all those years behind one group looking at the other group, each group outdoing the other”.

    You hit the nail on the head with that one babe. I flit in and out of Twitter for the same reason. I can’t compete, I’m not that clever and at the same time, I SO WANT TO BE A PART OF THE IN GROUP!!

    You’re amazeballs. That is all.

    xx

  47. Hey Beth

    I have read your blog for a long time and never commented. I loved your post the other day and from looking at the comments I wasn’t the only one. This is your blog and you can write whatever you want. People know your style of writing and you are very honest which I think is brilliant. If people do not like this style then just don’t read it. Simple. Saying that, I am a complete hypocrite as I am very sensitive and need to be liked. But I am extremely good at giving advice to anyone who will listen…I just need to listen to my own advice a bit more!!!!

  48. Beth,

    you know we love you and at the end of the day that is all that matters. I’m on the outside and don’t get invited to lots of PR do’s like that one but it doesn’t bother me. Good things have come my way and continue to and I’ve never been to a cocktail party or launch of a product. More time to spend with the fam and my blog.

    Keep doing what you’re doing, look at all the comments you consistently get, your fans and the people around you and this beautiful space you have created. You tell it like it is and that’s why we love you! Oh and you have a really nice house too:)

    You just need a couple of close online friends around you to tell you the truth, be your friend and know they’ve got your back. No matter what.

    we love you! just keep doing what you’re doing!
    Corrie;)

  49. Hi hon. God I’m so behind with all this stuff at the mo.

    Have been reading over at Maxabella’s today as well and have now caught up!

    I was just talking last night to someone about the blogging world. It is mostly a very positive, community-based, wonderful place to be. But it has an ugly side. My husband once said – basically what you said above – that it’s because there are a lot of woman together in one place, and woman can’t help but compare and bitch. At first, I disputed that. “No, not true! Don’t use that old argument!” but I think he’s right. As are you.

    I’ve come to the conclusion that comparing stuff to high school is unnecessary. Life is the same – filled with cliques and people wanting to get ahead and people who will put down others – whether it be at school, work, your child’s school playground, mother’s group…you name it.

    I think, fortunately, as we get older and we know how to deal with this stuff better. Walk away. Shut down the computer. Life’s not worth getting all in a tizz over.

    I get invited to some things (I don’t go to all) and not invited to others. I don’t sweat it. To be honest, I just want to write and I’ve become very zen about it all over the last few months!

    You go girl. You rock. I LOVE your blog.

    xxx

  50. I LOVE your blog. I have about 150 blogs in my reader. When Im short on time to read them, i have to choose just a couple – yours is always on the list. :)

  51. I LOVE your blog. I have about 150 blogs in my reader. When Im short on time to read them, i have to choose just a couple – yours is always on the list. :)

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