Return of the Mac

I loved that song. Did you? In fact, I have quite the penchant for early 1990′s R&B and hip hop. Quite sad really. BUT if anyone ever needed to someone to pump out Shoop by Salt n Pepa in it’s entirety, then I am your girl.

So. Wow.

I know now the secret to making yourself feel reeeeeeally good about yourself. You write a post saying “Woe is me. No body loves me. Wah. Wah. Wah. I need a break.” And then 59 (!) separate comments are posted telling you the most amazing things. The most kindest things. The wisest things. The most mind blowing things about how you actually are all the things you think you’re not. And that there are people out there, day in, day out interested in what I have to say. Me! I am overwhelmed.

Thank you.

I tried to email back everyone (sometimes I don’t get email addresses and then go onto blogs to find email addresses so couldn’t. So note: leave an email address COME ON!) but thank you. I am truly lucky to have all YOU people out there who are funny. And kind. And supportive. And like me! Really like me! Which (being a Leo in a small town with few close friends telling me in person) is just what this gal needs. Pathetic really.

So thank you. It meant the world to me.

It’s been an interesting (almost) week away from here. I have missed it. Desperately at times. I *tried* to completely disconnect, but it was hard. I still dabbled a wee bit on Instagram and my old pal, Facebook. I still read all your blogs, and commented here and there. Twitter, I think I missed you most of all. All those witty (read stupid, inane) comments I have throughout the day I had no one to tell. I missed that. I missed it so much so that one day late last week I sent Rob a text saying I was going to use him as my personal twitter and that I would text him anything I would usually tweet. He must really love me because he didn’t question it, he just sat during his normal day reading the inner workings of his wife’s crazy wife’s mind, sometimes even replying to me, and when he got home, he still loved me. It looked a little like this:

Desperate times people, desperate measures.

I had lots of time to think. And play with my kids. And go outside. And read magazines. I really need to book in some “offline” time more often. It was good. I read some great articles that people sent through like this one and this one. And I related to them. And liked them. If you are a small time blogger have a read and thanks to those who pointed me in their direction. Smart cookies. I chatted to people on the phone, and via emails and everyone had some great points and these were some highlights for me personally.

: What can I expect from a blog? Do I want creative input? Recognition? Maybe I should look elsewhere if that’s what I want. This might just be the wrong vehicle for those things.

: Why did I start the blog? It’s time to go back to basics. Remember the core of what it is. A place for me to record my kids childhoods, my time as a mother of small people so as I don’t completely lose my shit. A place to connect, and share and be creative. A space to be grateful. A space to just be.

: Why do I expect so much from the things (read blog) and real people in my life? That’s right, things got deep on about Thursday. Why can’t I just let things be what they are? Accept them for what they are. Not get disappointed when they don’t deliver on some ridiculous expectation that I have.

: Our desperate need to be heard, to connect, to share everything all the time cannot be sustained. And it’s pretty stupid really. I’m also sure that sometime down the track we will look at this time and laugh. What a waste of time. If I have something funny to say I’m going to say it. To someone. In real life. Crazy I know. But my night times might be a little more enjoyable for my husband if I actually talk and not tweet. BREAKTHROUGHS people!

: I don’t need to be concerned about the number of people stopping by. I should instead, be concerned that the right people are stopping by. People that get me. People that enjoy me and what I share. People that want to share and connect. And by the looks of things, they are! Engaged audience? Who knew!?

: My Iphone has sucked a lot of creativity from my blog. I have relied on it too much to take photos. From now on, you won’t see iphone shots in posts, only my SLR. That is a promise (except for the picture below. That’s the last). No blogging posts at night. No computer at night. Imma gonna TALK to people instead. By phone. Rob, you better watch out as your nights are going to involve listening to be talk in 140 characters! But they will be funny, oh yes, they will be funny. There will be no more desperately seeking approval. I AM OK AND I CAN TELL ME THAT. So there.

: I want my blog posts to be like visits to my home. I want people to feel welcomed. And nourished. And  enjoy the space for what it is. If you want to leave a comment (like my visitors book) you can. But if no one does, THAT’S OK too. No counting. No expectations. It’s time to just let things be. And this runs deeper than just on here, it’s pertinent to my real life too. I’m finally working stuff out on AND off line. I think it’s called “growing up”. Good to see at aged almost 34, I’m getting there.

So. There it is. My musings. My insights and breakthroughs. And there have been many more. Thanks to all of YOU for letting me get there. YOUR words helped me get to this point. YOU! Thank you. I’ll still be here, maybe not every day, but I’ll still be here sharing bits and pieces along the way.

I have spent almost as long as I have been able to speak explaining to people (because I get asked all. the. time) that my name is Beth. Just Beth. Not Elizabeth. Or Bethany. And most definitely not Bethenny. Just Beth. And I’ve finally figured out that this blog is just BabyMac. Not somewhere to become famous, or take over the world, or go to sponsored soirees or do anything other than be what it is, a blog. And that, finally, is OK by me.

So here’s (just) Beth, and (just) Baby Mac, back.

Comments

  1. Yup, I do love you, its official. I think last week was the week for the coolest bloggers to have a mini-blogging crisis! So pleased to see you back!

  2. lookin’ good and glad you didn’t stay away too long!
    very wise words and everyone will have moments like yours!

    corrie:)

  3. Anonymous says:

    Just Beth,

    Not wishing to be a pedant but it would appear that you have returned a day earlier than promised. While I am in no way as mathematically gifted as that guy Russell Crowe played in ‘A Beautiful Mind’ nor, for that matter, Matt Damon in ‘Goodwill Hunting’, I am able to tell when a full week has gone by.

    While this may not seem like a big deal to you, I for one am the kind of person who likes to take people at their word and as such leave myself open to massive disappointment when they fail to honour their verbal and/or written commitments. Much like Tom Cruise in ‘Jerry Maguire’ when Cush signs with Bob Sugar after Cush’s Dad gives his ‘stronger than Oak’ hand-shake, I feel let down by your hollow words.

    That being said, In the words of both Salt and Pepper:

    Bright as the sun, I wanna have some fun
    Come (come) and (hmmm) give me some of that yum-yum
    Chocolate chip, honey dip, can I get a scoop? (please)
    Baby, take a ride in my coupe, you make me wanna…

    Sincerely,

    Mr T. Roll

    PS: by the sounds of things, your husband seems like a FANTASTIC bloke. You must count yourself really lucky to have such an understanding, supportive, good-looking, funny guy to lend you his shoulders on which to lean, cry, and stand upon. Men like him are rare beasts. Rare beasts indeed.

  4. Good for you…all the best of luck.

  5. I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so glad you’re back.

    And did Hubby write that anon comment above. I love the love you too have.

    And lurpak honeycomb butter? Bring it! I’ll make the ricotta hotcakes, you bring the butter. Meet you on the highway. We’ll cook them on the bonnet of my car.

    xx

  6. Welcome back! Looking forward to more, your posts crack me up. Happy blogging. Annie

  7. YAY! So pleased you’re back. I actually did a little squeel when I saw you’d posted something new. :)

    So glad you’ve got some clarity. The break seems to have done wonders for you.

    Thank you for being such a breath of fresh air… and for getting “Return of the Mac” in my head! It’ll be there for the remainder of the afternoon. xxxx

  8. Oh thank God. I had only just found your blog and I love it. I am a non-blogger (would love to blog but no clue where to start really). I’ve loved reading back over your blog Beth and I’m so pleased you are going to hang in there!

  9. Fuck you’re hot. I’d do you in an instant. Even quicker if you were covered in Honeycomb Lurpak.

  10. Hi (just)Beth
    This rings bells for me as our son is actually Benjamin but if we tried to call him Benny or Benjamin, he informed us very seriously that he was “only” Ben or “just” Ben. He was only about 3 at the time and it was very cute!!
    Having been through the small children stage, I do identify with you. Thankfully we all made it through and now as empty-nesters, it makes me laugh (and sigh) sometimes to read your blog.
    Cheers
    Anne

  11. YEA!!!!

  12. Anonymous…..your need to be heard seems to have you in some kind of film fest…but very encouraging words re the husband….I agree, he must be some kind of legend.
    Oh, and great to have the “new and improved macback”…..sounds like you’ve got your self sorted in absentia……we missed you!!!

  13. Its always good to find your feet still touch the ground, I also do a blog, but I don’t do facebook or twitter…I think too much can erode your soul. good for you on finding your balance ‘something’s always gotta give..’

  14. YAY! Good for you. You’ve GOT it.

    I’ll tell you what’s proof I tweet a lot less than I used to. Last year, had I not tweeted for, oh, say….6 hours, I’d get message after message of ‘Where is @jodieansted?!’

    I was gone pretty much ALL weekend from Twitter and…nothing.

    I almost finished a whole book on the weekend. There!

    I love blogging, but it’s not my everything. FAR more relaxed about it now, and far less on the computer at night from me too.

    Well done, and welcome back. xxx

  15. Yay! I’ve been away from your blog a bit lately and missed the previous post, but glad to see that you took some time out to yourself.

    For the record, the number one thing I love about your blog is the feeling that it’s liking visiting you at home, with slippers on, for a coffee. You mentioned you wanted to strive for that- well, I feel like you’ve already got it!

    Also, the reason I’ve never gotten onto twitter is because I sms my husband like this all day, every day. Poor man doesn’t even realize there’s another option than to listen to his wife’s crazy ramblings during the day.

  16. Good to have you back lovely lady. xxx

  17. Can you see my happy dance from there? x

  18. I have so much to say about you, this post, your blog. Your hair. Your husband.

    Everything.

    You’re a goddamn superstar.

    “Here I go/here I go/here I go again … what’s my weakness MEN!”

    XOXOXOXOX

  19. Oh, love those baby blues. You are such a baby face. Adorable (and that was in a good way).

    Glda you’re on the up and up! xx

  20. Brilliant, Beth. Now that was a week well spent if you managed to get *all that* straight in your head. Just fabulous – I’m so pleased for you. Blog on! J x

  21. Hi Beth, welcome back!… and might I add, I’ve been reading over here for a looonnnggg time, and it’s because you are just you… just warm, honest, beth. It’s your space, I just come for the ride, so do with it whatever blows the wind up your skirt girl. {and isn’t it nice to have a break sometimes too!} Jo x

  22. Been spending most our lives, livin in a blogga’s paradise, Beth baby. That’s the trouble. x

  23. oh thank F#$%.

    i hear you about disconnecting. I need to do that, not from my own blog, cos it blows hard but from everything else on the interwebs.

    but i am glad you’re back.

  24. Yay! You don’t know me just Beth, but yay!! I am so glad you’re back, I get you, I GET your sense of humor and it often makes me laugh out loud. Thanks being a tad awesome and particularly rad!

  25. Thata girl. x

  26. Welcome back.

  27. So glad you are back. I totally agree with the comment re: instagram. It feels like every 2nd blog every photo is now a iphone photo and that we are loosing the traditional photos…

    thank you for coming back.. oxox

  28. I’m a House of Pain ‘Jump Around’ kinda gal, we’re from the same mold lady friend.
    Welcome back! Well done for going back to your roots, it’s what catapulted you into all of this. You’re too darn hot to turn back now. So pleased to have your witty spark back around the place xoxo

  29. Brilliant.

    Just brilliant.

    x F

  30. Yay…now I can stop pining.

  31. Welcome back. I’g glad you’re telling the blog stats to suck it. What a drag to care about that kind of stuff anyway.

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  33. Hi Beth, not sure if you see these comments way back here…but this is where I am. I found your blog about a week ago and can’t stop! Apart from the above, all I have to say is – in the words of Fat Boy Slim – You’ve come a long way, baby!!! and I’m pretty certain you are living the dream. Happy Australia Day! x

    • BabyMacBlogBeth says:

      I do get them! Thanks so much…this was really interesting to read again. Happy Australia Day to you too!

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