Starting now. OK, now. No, NOW.

Do you have a certain something in your life that you find really hard? Like really hard? Whether it be a certain food that you want to stay away from, an exercise regime that you want to begin, a certain someone that you want to just stay away from but each and every time you resolve to not do that thing – you go and do it?

It’s so boring isn’t it? And predictable? And did I mention boring?

I have struggled with a certain something {besides my addiction for my beloved Lurpak butter} for so many years now. I get angry, frustrated, upset, hurt by something and each and every time I tell myself “This is IT. Really. NO more. I am just going to tune out. Move on. Ignore. Stop fueling the fire. This starts now.” Until the next time that I buy into it and then I get frustrated, hurt, and the whole ordeal begins again. I’m like an addict who is addicted to the drama of it all – the drama that I really, truly don’t like. Really. It’s been years and I am over it.

Do you have a certain ‘something’ that presses your buttons each and every time even though you have resolved yourself not to? How do you move on? Properly, truly move on from something toxic in your life? Empty promises don’t seem to be doing the trick. Trying to confront the issues also doesn’t seem appealing – drama will follow as it has in the past – and ultimately I still end up at the same place. Have you managed to stop it? Move on? HOW...?!

So today I am resolving {properly because I am writing it down and everything and making myself accountable for the fact} that this ends. The judgement. The crank. The comparing. The hurt. The why nots? The what ifs. They stop here. I am going to accept things for what they are. Understand that things are the way they are because that’s the way they are. Not try and change things because I think they could be better. Or should be better. Go with the flow. And just be. It’s going to be the new, improved me!

Until it all starts again right? Huh.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07219272193124932806 PinkPatentMaryJanes

    No, it doesn’t start again. It’ll try to – but you’re strong enough to stop it. Jeez love, I don’t know if I know many people strong enough than you! If you’re keen, you’ll make it work. If it’s making you unhappy, you can stop it. Sure, it ain’t gonna be easy. And there’ll be lots of false starts, and you’ll find yourself doing it, and have to give yourself a good talking to – but YOU. CAN. DO. IT!

    Seriously, what’s to judge? You’re fabulous x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09334181966209041832 Corinne – Daze of My Life

    I had some toxic things in my life a couple of years ago, I cut them out. It was really, really hard and caused me a lot of hurt (it still does sometimes). You know what, though? I’m sooooo much better off. Soooooo much better off.

    And by cutting it out I discovered all these good things that I never expected.

    So what I’m saying is, it ain’t easy, but it will be worth it. You managed to transplant your whole life from the city to the country. You can do this.

    If you wanna email me, I can tell you in more detail about my sitch.

    PS -I have a Lurpak addiction too. My little family went through a tub in 2.5 days this week. eek!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14577261411770696737 Hayley

    Oh Beth I was nodding my head in agreement the whole time I was reading. I don’t have the answers…I am still in the process of working out what I should do…but I agree with the others you are such a strong woman and if you want this I know you can do it!

    All I know there has to come a time in every womens life when we say enough is enough this is my life and I am in control…though I am still waiting for that feeling to stick around longer then a few hours :)

    Good luck Beth xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15761220164069379437 Maxabella

    I’m hopeless at sticking to my resolve… really hopeless. I seem to be bent on self-destructive behaviour sometimes. All rebellious and stupid. What am I, twelve?

    Be brave. Good luck, dear Beth! x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16543791863884733714 Mum on the Run

    True words! With your fantastic spin. Good luck – I understand the cycle and sometimes it catches you unawares – and they’re you go – you’re doing it AGAIN!

    But I’ve never written it down – so this could be it for you.
    :-)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02743336097657087832 Jane

    Ah, Beth, I hear you. In stereo. Why we make our lives so complicated is beyond me. Well, that would be the *rational* me speaking there. Just be quiet, *emotional* me – go to the naughty corner! Good luck, my friend. J x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09345662692259541964 Kymmie

    My husband has this book by his bed, it’s called “Why People Fail”. And the biggest reason we fail? Because we think the same thoughts every day. We need to change these thoughts. Start by saying this:

    I, Beth, deserve this.
    She, Beth, deserves this.
    You, Beth, DESERVE THIS!

    xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07648204470712239011 Amy

    This got me thoughtful, reminded me that there is something I’m holding onto that is hurting me- I need to let it go.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00621170366257326241 MultipleMum

    I can smell the sweet scent of change. You have this Beth. Take it! xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13136077130695382718 Jess

    I was nodding right through this post. I was just thinking tonight that I need to let go of some of my ‘juvenile’ behaviour. I am 34 this year and I still have tantrums that would put my 2 yr old toddler to shame!

    But how many times have I resolved to not yell, to not react? Many.

    Man, its hard to change but the very fact that you are trying and you really want to means you have to be atleast halfway there!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00523302175587144970 Belinda

    If anyone can do this, you can! Sending love and positive vibes to you. xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15086980189762813286 [Good Mum Hunting]

    I am feeling flat too.

    I recently deleted the number of an old friend from my phone. While it doesn’t sound like a big deal, it was a huge step for me. Finally deleting everything about this girl from my life.

    Ironically, the same day I did this, my husband ran into her husband at the airport and he was nice and seemed to have forgotten our treacherous past. Typical. But I’ve moved on from her.

    Hang in there. It’s early days yet for 2011.

    xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17317677066408030053 Faux Fuchsia

    Have a million things in life that are hard and that I have failed at fixing. But am also super disciplined and have learned to shove things aside if they really hurt or frustrate me. Someone once said happiness is a choice and that resonates with me. Good luck and don’t be hard on yourself. If you keep doing the same you get the same results, so why jot mix it the frig up and approach it from a different angle?

  • http://carlyfindlay.blogspot.com/ Carly Findlay

    That line in Gotye’s song ‘you can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness’ – well I think he’s talking about me!
    I feel like I’m better off without certain people in my life, and then I go back. Because I sort of like feeling needed and the drama it creates.
    We should know better hey?
    You write so very beautifully, I really need to visit your blog more often. Take care xx