Note: this post will more than likely be in the too much information Beth and that’s something that I did not want to know about Beth category. So male friends, Rob, Rob’s brother, Rob’s business partner, my brother, my step dad and father in law…go and watch the cricket or something. OK?
Years ago now (did you know that I will celebrate FIVE years of blogging this year? FIVE!?) I wrote a little blog post complaining (how unusual) about my hormones. Ever since I started this blog I have been or have not been pregnant. Not so unusual I know, but I have either been raging with pregnancy hormones, or post baby, breastfeeding hormones, to some kind of normal hormones to doing it all over again. Just when those baby hormones should be sorted you move into some kind “phase” of sleep regression, or teething, or toilet training or something so that life is never quite normal. Or it is for 3 whole days before being not normal all over again. It’s quite the roller coaster.
My long suffering and wonderful mother (who is the one who calls the hormones the moaning whores which incidentally leads some freaky people to my blog when they type in unmentionable terms into google) told me recently that when she reads about one of my “down periods” it’s usually the same time every month. Huh. Thanks for that Mum.
So I started to have a good look at myself. The mirror was a little depressing so I did some inner soul searching and some mental calculations and what do you know, it seems just after I ovulate I turn into some kind of hormonal, emotional wildebeest who speaks fluent bitch and is permanently pissed off. At everything. Huh. So I have decided to try something different and go back on the pill. I haven’t been on the pill in a bazillion years (well at least 5) and so I am interested to see how it all goes down, so to speak. I figure that it will sort out the birth control, keep the hormones on some kind of regular, even keel and maybe, just maybe, make me a little less psycho or psycho all the time so that no one notices the difference. I have heard all sorts of stories about the things inserted in your arm, and all the other solutions out there and who knows if this will be good, but it’s worth a shot right? (it’s OK I am aware how often I say right?! desperately in my posts, it’s annoying isn’t it?)
But…What do you do? What works for you? How do you keep the hormones in check? Am I alone in this conundrum? Is conundrum the best word ever? What should I make for dinner? How do I make my hair from going so brassy and stay nice and silvery and platinum? Can I ask any more questions? Who wants to know just one of the things those poor, disappointed (and clearly highly aroused) people typed into google to get to my blog? What could be the possible reason for this maniacal questioning? Is it the hormones? IS IT THE HORMONES?!