The case of the exploding bottom

There was once a baby girl named Harper, who lived with her mother and father and older sister. She was a happy baby, delightful, some said, who giggled at most things and always had a smile for any stranger that offered one to her.

She ate well, grew teeth at an alarming rate, and mostly slept well (although her mother and father would disagree on this point given that she had not slept well for about the last month or so). She suffered from eczema, which she mostly grew out of, but it appeared that the cooler, dryer months of autumn were not kind to her condition – the itching and scratching at times drove her mad.
There was however, one special trick that she had. One skill that surpassed all others in her age group. She could poo. Oh could she poo! In fact, she could poo like no other baby had ever pooed before. She pooed with special force. She pooed with determination, with dedication to the pooing cause, and with such consistency one would think that this was indeed, what she was born to do.
This drove her parents to distraction. Her mother, mostly, as she was left with her the majority of the time. She pooed at the most inconvenient of times – just as they were about to leave and rush out the door – SPLOGDGE – out one would come and a new outfit would be required. Just as she was about to fall asleep (finally!) in her cot after much patting and rocking – SPLODGE – out one would come and they would be back to square one. The washing was never ending. The search for the nappy that could contain such power was eternal.
One day her mother was so overwhelmed by her poo, that she sat down on her computer and wrote a letter of plea to people, to see just what could be done about the exploding bottom. Could this be fixed? What can contain such poo? Will this be a phase that she will grow out of? How does one stop her from pooing in the night thus waking her because she has wet through her jumpsuit, sleeping bag, sheets and almost mattress? What COULD SHE DO?!!
And the people! Oh how they had the answers! They told her tales of their children who did the same, worse in fact, and gave her many, many solutions* to all her woes. And her mother, well she put them into place and what do you know? She turned into a normal pooing baby. A baby that slept through the night because she didn’t turn her cot into a pooing war zone. Harper was happier than ever. Her parents were delighted in the turn of events, and her older sister still managed to make everything about her.
The End.
* some such solutions could be written down here on this blog in the form of a comment thank you very much
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07219272193124932806 PinkPatentMaryJanes

    I had a projectile vomiter and occasional poo exploder – which is why I was excited when I saw those new BabyLove adds with the poo pouch – don’t they work? I think one of the problems with nappies is they’re so snug-fitting it leaves nowhere for the poo to go but up and out. I used cloth for the first 10 months or so and found they contained poo better than disposables – but heaven forbid you should have to do more washing.

    I hope you get some solution and relief! Surely the more solids she eats, with more fibre, the better things will get… Good luck xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12164329423881113248 Zoe

    Oh my,
    I wish I could share some wisdom..

    It might make you feel better to know Byron would explode everytime id go to the shopping centre.. I Once had to take him home just in a nappy… I could just hear the thoughts people were having “Young mothers these days not dressing there babies…” haha

    Hope things improve…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09148087567837108169 ashley

    Ahhh those bless’ed poo explosions! Just so you know, I went to a dinner party of twenty somethings the other night and had the impulsion to tell everyone about them. Can you imagine the reactions? I believe sharing it is probably the best contraception. Ever! PS: How could that Darling little lady cause that much trouble?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07836375771588305693 Sian

    No solutions here, sorry, but you’re not alone. I also have a super poo-er! The funniest thing though was when my husband was in the middle of changing her after a poo explosion and she decided she hadn’t finished. No nappy + explosive poo = one very messy daddy with poo on his clothes and even a little bit on his face!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05733683295079746421 kurrabikid

    If it makes you feel any better I should reveal that my 8-month-old daughter loves to *reach* down into the poo every time we have an explosion-type incident. Why, oh why?!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16414589007412394888 Kylie

    so what did the trick in the end? tell us, tell us! all the suggetions, or one in particular?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05305924750586655358 The Weekend Island

    Oh my god… Did I mention my husband and I are trying for a baby? Is this really what will happen? I think I need to go drink more wine and pop some pills now. Contraceptive pills that is. Picking up my dog’s poo in the park is traumatic enough.

    No in all serious, I (clearly) have no idea, but good luck on Poo Quest.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05305924750586655358 The Weekend Island

    Oh my god… Did I mention my husband and I are trying for a baby? Is this really what will happen? I think I need to go drink more wine and pop some pills now. Contraceptive pills that is. Picking up my dog’s poo in the park is traumatic enough.

    No in all serious, I (clearly) have no idea, but good luck on Poo Quest.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05305924750586655358 The Weekend Island

    Oh my god… Did I mention my husband and I are trying for a baby? Is this really what will happen? I think I need to go drink more wine and pop some pills now. Contraceptive pills that is. Picking up my dog’s poo in the park is traumatic enough.

    No in all seriousness, I (clearly) have no idea, but good luck on Poo Quest.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05305924750586655358 The Weekend Island

    Oh my god… Did I mention my husband and I are trying for a baby? Is this really what will happen? I think I need to go drink more wine and pop some pills now. Contraceptive pills that is. Picking up my dog’s poo in the park is traumatic enough.

    No in all seriousness, I (clearly) have no idea, but good luck on Poo Quest.