Sisters are doing it for themselves

Women being kind to each other can be a thing most wonderful. True support, care and love from a fellow sister can be the BEST thing in the whole world. I mean look here, every day some special lady will come here, read what I have to say and then write some supportive words to me in a comment, have a giggle with me and make me feel a little less alone. And that? Is fabulous. But then, on the other hand, we can be so hard on each other. So judgemental. Bitchy. Just plain mean. We sometimes only see the bad in friends and family, only see all of the judging going on, the criticisms, the comparisons. Women are terribly complicated beasts, and even having been one myself for the past 32 years, I still can’t work them out at times.

This past week I have been out and about and have seen both sides the good and the bad (and the ugly provided by me and my roots which need sorting out NOW!).
Scene 1: Bakers Delight line on a busy Thursday morning at the local shopping centre.
We were waiting in line, Harper in the pram and Daisy standing and also freaking out about her hair falling out of her ‘pony’ but also not wanting to get it fixed up by me because that would mean that I would HAVE TO DO HER HAIR which she hates more than sleep (and that’s saying something). So we stepped to the side, to be polite you know, to let the freak out occur to the side where the fun buns are, and not right in the middle of the lines. I made sure I gave the lady behind the counter eye contact – just so she knew I was still there AND doing her a favour by moving said freaking out child to the fun bun side. We were next. As we were dealing with the hair a fellow sister came into line. She looked about 7 months pregnant and had an 18 month old in the trolley. She looked tired, sure, aren’t we all? And she was looking to get something into the toddler’s mouth so she could get some peace and quiet. When it was the next persons go (MY go) the woman serving made the fatal error of acknowledging pregnant sista before looking at me, ready to take my order. This made pregnant sista think it was indeed, her go, and when I started to request 6 knot rolls with sesame seeds, well she HUFFED at me! Actually she HUFFED and PUFFED so loudly that the server and myself were shocked. She then turned around – mid huff – and stormed away, looking at me like I had pushed in! She rolled her eyes at me and looked at me with PURE hate. I hate confrontation – but I was tired and I WAS THERE FIRST and dealing with a hair disaster! And I ALWAYS want people to like me and she was HUFFING. At ME! I almost burst into tears because shouldn’t she get it?! Shouldn’t she understand? So under my breath I wished her a newborn with reflux (no I didn’t, I’m not that mean. But…I may have hoped that her 18 month old turned into a toddler with hair freak out problems that will one day occur in line at Bakers Delight) and went on my way with my 6 knot rolls. With sesame seeds.
Scene 2: Babies Galore, Tuesday morning 10.35am, looking at swaddling/wrap section
I was searching for a wrap that would contain Harper’s Houdini skills AND make sure that her hands were covered to stop her scratching her eczema ridden face. A friendly woman (I forget her name it was like Zena or Xena or something like that – asked me if I needed help. She then proceeded to discuss with me the merits of this wrap over that, and entertained my endless questions over the benefits of x over y like it was the most important thing in the world (which it was to me at the time). Sure, you say, she was a good saleswoman. But she gave me SO MUCH MORE. Understanding. Humour. She LISTENED to me. Gave me stories about her own kids. She took the wraps out of the packets so we could compare medium to large AND she gave me advice about eczema. All in about 7 minutes. I could have hugged her. She saved me a trip to a dermatologist, and a therapist all without realising it.
I know that a lot of the time (particularly lately) I have been the pregnant sista. Tired, a little short of patience and so caught up with what I have going on what I barely have time to see what is going right on next to me at the fun buns section. So to all my fellow sisters, family and friends, thank you for always making me feel listened to. And loved and supported. It really does mean the world to me.
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07219272193124932806 PinkPatentMaryJanes

    She huffed? Oh, that’s never a good thing – no matter how tired, pregnant or cranky…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07278586472887265093 Lucy

    Isn’t it funny how about 5 mins ago I posted something on facebook about how women can be so NASTY! This particular woman just made me feel like shit in a meeting (yet again) all because she is just so hideously rude. Good luck to her

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09334181966209041832 Corinne

    Right back at ya!

    Why do these things always happen in the line at Baker’s Delight? What is it about bread that turns normal people into huffers and puffers?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13009715674974259128 So Now What?

    Ahh, that made me laugh. I hate it when people think they were first, but you were and then it’s an stare off, awkward ordering etc. I try and do my best at seeing who was there first etc so I feel right when I do order. You’re right, I guess it comes down to people are either nice or often not nice. Preggers or otherwise. I love your blog. x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08404421856986720832 Kerri Sackville

    Yesterday I let a car into line ahead of me in a shitload of traffic. At the next traffic light he opened his sunroof, stood up, and gave me a standing ovation. It was divine. I know he wasn’t a sista, but it feels so good to help people, whether or not they have a womb.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03438808939279643867 Holly Homemaker

    This is probably the first time I’ve been thankful that I can’t eat bread! Hahaha ;)

    Great post!