I have spent much time these past few months since Harper has arrived trying to work out this parenting thing. The juggling, the tantruming, the good and bad behaviours (from all of us) all of it – trying to work out how to be a better mother, a more caring, less frustrated and angry mother. I want my kids to feel loved by me. Feel like they are understood, listened to, loved, cared for and like they can have a good time with me. I have felt like pulling my fucking hair out at times I can admit. I have felt like a failure, a sham, a bitch and a tired, fat cranky thing. I have felt at times like it’s all just too hard.