OK, not so much thirsty. Well maybe a little thirsty from all the salty foods that seem to be passing by my lips. But mostly crazy. Yes crazy. Did I mention a little crazy? I can’t remember feeling like this when I was pregnant with Daisy – then again, I certainly didn’t have a 2 and a half year old, permanent broken sleep and all round craziness that is our life at the moment at the time. Oh the differences between the pregnancies – the attention that I got from Rob and others. The interest, the concern, just not so much this time. The preciousness from me over – salami (!) god forbid and the rest when this time around the only place I have not gone is sashimi and oysters, oh and crack. I haven’t touched the stuff since I found out I was pregnant. Everything else on the “should be avoided when duffed” list? Done, done and done! And enjoyed too may I add.
But I tell you people, the hormones, the hormones are making me crazy. Like fucking maniac woman from hell who cannot be tamed crazy. I am short tempered. All. The. Time. I seem to have a spiral of crankiness inside of me that unravels over the silliest of things. My patience is thin. Like wafer thin. Actually thinner than that. Paper thin, but with a gsm of like 0.5 or something equally as thin, thin. I am grumpy. I huff and puff constantly. I tell you I must be SO MUCH FUN to live with! And don’t get me started on the tears. There have been SO many tears. I have never cried so much as this pregnancy. Over my overwhelming love for everyone in my family to the taste of a really good chocolate milkshake. I have literally cried myself to sleep on a number of occasions whilst in a mood for something that I have long forgotten about, but far too stubborn to stop being angry about. I have just cried myself to sleep in exhaustion whilst still doing the “huh huh huh huh” breaths that come out of children (!) when they have finally gotten over their tantrums but still can’t quite get their breath back. You know, big, ugly, snotty crying. The kind that leaves you all puffy-eyed in the morning. Hot.
And I tell you, I am looking forward to having a little more balance once this babe comes out. I have a really close girl friend who recently had her little boy and she said the moment he was out, she felt better. More like her old self. Her husband could finally breath a sigh of relief as he saw his old friend finally re-emerge from the pregnancy hormone craziness. And she thinks that it’s because she had a boy that she was like this, and it makes me think that this here babe is a boy. That there is a PENIS growing inside of me and testosterone which completely does NOT agree with me and THIS is what is making me crazy. I will blame men! Again! For ALL this mess.
Not quite sure what I will do when I see a little lady instead. Who I can blame then? Hopefully I will be so fabulous and witty and lovable to Rob and all that ALL will be forgiven. Right? RIGHT? I SAID RIGHT?!