53 (I think) days until the babe arrives
14 days of the shoot left
19 days of work left
8 hysterical early morning drop offs at daycare left
I seem to be on this loop, treadmill or count down, or something, where it’s all about time. How long left until something happens, how many hours of unbroken sleep I seem to get in at night (which incidentally is not fucking much). How many months now I have been getting up in the mornings without having a sleep in. How many times over the weekend we seemed to put Daisy into a time out. How many more weeks/months of this 2 year old behaviour can we cope with. How many whatevers. This is no way to be I know. I just feel like the little engine, or whatever that character was that says ‘I think I can’, willing myself to have find a little bit more patience, just to get through daily life. It’s not for much longer and I tell you I can’t wait for all this counting down to just stop. To just be able to live. In the now and not worry about drop off’s or pick ups or deadlines or appointments. And I know that soon enough it will ALL then be about timings, and feedings and obsessing over sleeping and stuff but at least it won’t be THIS stuff. And in between these two times I am hoping for some time to rest. To not work. To not be that cranky mother/wife/daughter/sister all. the. time. To sleep. To rest. And be.