And other such reasons from Daisy that explain just why she cannot sleep at night.
By Beth Macdonald
I have countless chapters, no actually, novels written on just how bad a sleeper Daisy is. I have written about it here many, many times. I am always up for a conversation about it to anyone who will listen, and I will tweet, or facebook about it all the time. It’s boring I know. You try living it. I have recently decided that I would embrace it. I mean, the energy and frustration that was being used up fighting it, trying to make it better, when it does no good at all, just wasn’t worth it. My fight is just not what it used to be. Clearly the kid has worn me down. Little by little, slowly but surely. So, I embraced it. I realised that this was just how it was going to be with her. She sleep badly. She is a light sleeper. She suffers from night terrors. She often just wakes up in the night and can’t go back to sleep. She is a little insomniac. I get it. It’s my punishment (hello Catholic guilt!) for something that I did, long ago, and I can accept it. Live with it.
But jeepers does it wear you down.
Most nights are generally not that bad, I guess. Maybe if you were not working, and not say 6 months pregnant, at least one wake up in the night isn’t that bad. Right? Or have I clearly lost all sense and judgement? Last night I actually thought that it will be good when the baby comes long because at least there will be a reason to be up, at least I will have company! Yes, I can see that I am completely losing my mind.
Last night we were up from 12.30 to 3.30am. Up and down, me awake the whole time, trying to get her back to sleep. By 2.45 when I was well and truly over it, I did what any respectable, grown up person would do. I wept. Like a baby. I stood in the kitchen and wept. At the unjustness of it all. Daise was quite concerned for me though, and very sweet, which made me feel all the worse about it. The poor girl could just not sleep, there was no point getting angry at her about it. And the best bit was not long after that, when I had calmed down, and got her another drink I asked her just why she was awake and she said “that the roof is making my nose sting”. Um. Ok. Try and work THAT one out. And then later still, around 3.30am when I had convinced her that our bed was actually where she wanted to be, I asked her “why are you SO awake” and she replied “Why are YOU so awake Mumma?”. Touche.
So really that is all. Just a whinge. I know that last nights’ performance was because she had too long a sleep, too late in the afternoon (she woke up after 3) and that she didn’t use enough energy because the weather was bad and I was too lazy to take her to the park and wear her out. She was too early to bed (7.30pm) and was just awake. I have tried the no sleep. This can be achieved on days where she is mostly at home, pottering about, in fact we had no sleep on Friday and it was great because by 6pm the kid was knackered, and asleep by 6.15pm BUT it also means that from about 2am onwards she wakes easily, and will def want to start the day at 6am at the latest. It’s all such a juggle, too little and you get feral, too much and you get awake.
I am SO jealous of parents that have children that sleep. If you are one of these, please count your blessings. Just for me. And holy fuck, if this next kid is a non sleeper I just don’t know what I am going to do.