So, here I am

At my last day of work. In the office. Alone. Talk about depressing!

I have been looking forward to this day as it marks a full stop. The end of an era. Doors closing, chapters doing something else and all that. I have also been dreading this day. After this there will be no more regular pay placed into my bank account each month(but regular bills still coming in). There will be no more contact with our client’s that I have worked with for the past 5 and a half years. (For the meantime) there will be no professional contact with other colleagues. I will be just an unemployed Mum. It scares the breath right out of me.

I have always had a job. I have always had a really good work ethic, I give a job my all even if I can’t stand what I am doing. I am loyal, a hard worker and I really believe that I am an asset to whoever is lucky enough to employ me. Maybe for all these reasons THAT is why I am feeling so down about leaving here. The whole ‘being made redundant’ thing has hurt my feelings. I know that I shouldn’t take it personally – that it is a business decision plain and simple – but I just feel pissed off that for all my hard work, effort, sacrifice I have put in…here I am alone in the office on my last day at work. No send off. No over sized novelty card signed by the team. Zip. I will just close the door this afternoon and that will be it.

So with a bitter taste in my mouth (could be the coffee that I just had) I am indeed closing the doors here and moving on. I can almost feel the physical weight being lifted from my shoulders. While I have loved it here – it has been draining, demanding and very hard at times. There have been many times when I should have left, but stayed – for others. When I look past the dread and fear that I have about not having a job I think I can see light. Hope. Something better out there that will suit me a whole lot more than this place. I know that this is for the best…but right now I will just wallow a little K?

But…only for a little while because for the love of sweet baby Jesus we are off to freakin’ Paris in 3 days times!!!!! Funny how the planets aligned to give me the send off and celebration that I really deserve isn’t it?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13628628008202778030 smythie

    Sorry to hear that your work were so rubbish about sending you off in style. Cheer up beautiful lady. I have a feeling in my bones that 2009 holds fabulous times for you. Have a WONDERFUL time in Paris. Can’t wait to catch up in the new year. Cousin Kate xx