So, it’s been a month since I was feeling a little poorly and feeling like I wanted to get my groove back and launched Project GBGB (getting Beth’s groove back). I set myself a goal of achieving 4 things that I loved to do and that would make me feel better about myself. Now I don’t know if I have just hit a lucky month and managed to do LOTS of things to make myself feel good and that I love to do – or because I set the goal I have been open or more aware of the good things but I have to say I have had a GREAT month and I am feeling MUCH better about me. About being a Mum. About being a wife, an employee, a daughter, sister. About everything really. So here are my 16 GBGB deliverables that I HAVE delivered on (in no particular order):
1. Got FAB new hair do. While I must say I am quite courageous in letting my much groovier, and hipper hot lesbian hairdresser do her thang each and every time I visit her, I think I have and am pulling off her do. Even if I am getting more looks from the ‘ladies’ in Newtown
2. Had hot date with my husband. We re-lived our first date, drank wine, ate great food and sat in the pub and pashed like teenagers and it was GREAT fun!
3. Started playing scrabble at least once a week. Instead of just sitting in front of the TV not talking and watching BAD TV we decided that we would play scrabble once a week and not watch TV. It has been great. Rob kicks my arse most games but I am happy to report that I have won a few. What nerds we are.
4. Purchased great new boots and jeans that make me feel good in.
5. Got myself back into pre-pregnancy SKINNY jeans that I got into when I was breastfeeding Daisy and then managed to get back out of when I stopped. I am back in for the minute and that’s all that counts
6. Went to the flower markets. Ok I HAD to go to buy all the flowers for the wedding BUT I tell you nothing fills the soul with more goodness than the markets. All those flowers just is good for you. Oh and I got up at 4.50am to do this. Because I wanted to – not for a baby!
7. Went away for the weekend to the country. The long weekend away in Rylstone with all our friends was so. much. fun. Again it made me feel great – to be in the open space out of the city and connect with friends. Daisy was really well behaved as well so it made for a fab time
8. Witnessed and helped in a beautiful wedding. While it was a pleasure to attend and drink fine champagne over our beautiful city, it made me realise how lucky I am to have my beautiful husband and family that I am grateful for every day
9. Had some really lovely moments with my Mum. While we were doing the flowers, seeing her every week and watching the joy that she gets from Daisy (and Daisy from her)
10. Held off on baby number 2. That has been a load of my mind and great to not even have to think about
11. Stopped working outside of work time. I don’t get paid enough and my boss actually doesn’t a) know that I am doing it or b) acknowledge that I am doing it and c) will expect me to keep doing it so I have stopped and you know what. No one noticed
12. Booked house for holiday in August. Probably can’t afford it but have booked it so I have something to look forward to. It’s in the Blue Mountains and I know it will be lovely. I am already excited about it.
13. Started to save money (well trying to) just trying to take the money out without thinking about it so I can use the funds to fund above holiday at point 12 or just do something nice for myself
14. Sat and just played with Daisy. In mess. With mess all around. With 5 million other things to do. Just sat and played.
15. Planned another little break up to EIEIO next week. It’s a 5 hour trip by myself with Daisy who will probably be revolting all the way but I am going to have a try. It could always work out! And I know when we get there it will be worth every whinge. Plus I have borrowed my sisters DVD player for the car trip.
16. Sat and enjoyed the autumn. Just taking the time to slow down, sit, look around me and see how good things really are
So there they are. Some are things I have always done. Some are things that I have gone out of my way to do. Some are things that I am always going to TRY and make time to do. And some are lucky one off things that I have been fortunate enough to have done. I have realised that I am lucky. Blessed to have a happy and healthy family. To be able to have the best of both worlds – to work and be considered an intelligent, useful employee and to be a Mum to Daise and enjoy all those special moments that come in a spent together. I feel a little more like myself. Well actually maybe just a little more comfortable in my ‘new’ self skin. Things are different, they will continue to be different and that’s ok. There will be plenty more bad times ahead. Moments when I am desperately tired, and want more time for myself but I am happy where I am. I am grateful for all I have and have become and will continue to live this life cause it’s pretty bloody good.